


I Was Made For Loving You

by flower_girl



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: First Love, High School, M/M, Mpreg, Teen Romance, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-02-16
Packaged: 2019-10-29 10:29:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 24,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17806322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flower_girl/pseuds/flower_girl
Summary: The only thing worse than being seventeen, is being seventeen and pregnant.





	1. part one

**Author's Note:**

> This is my late Valentine's Day fic! I hope you guys enjoy it!  
> Also, setting is a private American high school!

 

Kyungsoo wakes up feeling like he’s suffocating. He’s not used to this, being pressed this close against something, someone. He thinks he needs to throw up but that’s gross. He hasn’t thrown up since he was eight with the stomach flu. He’s hesitant to open his eyes and face the reality of the situation that he’s in but he needs to check the time. He needs to go home.

It takes him a few more seconds and two deep breaths but he finally gathers the courage to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is the face of a dragon staring intimidatingly at him and he shivers. The body of the dragon wraps around the arm that is currently wrapped around his waist, loose but heavy enough to mean some type of possession. Kyungsoo feels himself grow deep red and is suddenly hyper aware of just how naked he is and the feel of smooth skin pressing stickily against his. He carefully rolls out of those arms, trying his best to ignore the sting starting in his lower back and searching for his clothes as he stumbles in the dimmed room. Thank god they left the lamp on otherwise this escape plan would be a lot more difficult for Kyungsoo. He slides his folder and papers off the desk and into his backpack and stuffs his laptop in the padded compartment before slinging it over his back. Before he sneaks out of the door, he takes one last glance, his eyes catching on the alarm clock and the naked boy curled up on the bed, his arms still open from where Kyungsoo was lying just minutes ago. It’s almost nine o’clock. He’s so fucked. Figuratively and literally.

The night wind bites at his skin through his jacket as he walks to the nearest bus stop. He’s afraid to check his phone, terrified of how many missed calls and messages he might have received. Kyungsoo stuffs his hands into his pockets as he rocks back and forth on his heels, chewing on his lower lip as he waits for the bus. The door to the convenience store behind him opens and someone with a fresh pack of cigarettes lights up, sticking a few feet away from him. Should he go in and get the pill? Just the thought of it makes him want to hurl on the sidewalk already. He doesn’t know if he can walk into the pharmacy and ask for it, the shame burning on his face as the pharmacist judges him in his school uniform. They might as well sew a scarlet letter onto his jacket already.

He sees the headlights of the bus before he can hear it and he gets himself ready to board. He doesn’t need the pill. Nothing will happen. They pulled out, the stickiness still caked on his upper thighs and lower abdomen. He’s going to be okay.

 

“That was quite a project, huh?” His mom says as he walks into the living room thirty minutes later. His heart is beating so fast. Will she be able to tell? Does she have that extra mom sense and can smell that he’s done something awful?

“Yeah,” he says, standing at the foot of the stairs. “Took longer than expected.”

“Are you hungry?” She asks him. “There’s leftovers in the fridge.”

He doesn’t even have an appetite, still trying to process everything that has happened in the last few hours.

“No, I ate already,” he tells her.

“Did his mom cook for you?” She asks, setting down her next cross stitch project. It’s supposed to a scene from Beauty and the Beast. She’s about half way done with Belle’s dress.

“Yeah,” he lies. “I’m gonna go wash up and go to bed, long day at school tomorrow.”

“Good night, sweetheart,” she calls after him as he walks up the stairs. He can hear the exhaust of his parent’s bathroom. His dad must be taking a shower too, getting ready for bed. He wakes up early for work, does ten-hour days so he can get Fridays off.

Kyungsoo goes into his room, locking his door, dropping his backpack on the floor and stepping out of his school uniform, shoving it to the way bottom of his laundry basket. He’s thankful he has an en suite bathroom attached to his room so no one has to know what he washes off his body.

He scrubs at himself till he’s tinged pink, using the tips of his nails as if it’ll erase the evidence. He’s afraid to wash down _there_ , afraid that he’ll really be forced to acknowledge what happened when his fingers rub across a slightly swollen, still puffy rim. He stands in the shower until the water runs cold, staring listlessly at the wall and trying so hard not to think about it. He’s a good boy. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

The mirror is still fogged up when he steps out of the shower, wrapping his olive green towel around his entire body and not just his waist. He towels himself dry and quickly slips on fresh clothes to go to bed. After he pats on his toner and rubs in his moisturizer he brings his laptop out of his backpack and opens the web browser, clicking submit on the page he still has up. His email tab dings a few seconds later: _Submission Successful_ , with a little over an hour to spare before the deadline. He plugs his laptop into the charger and then crawls into his bed, warm, fluffy, not smelling at all like sandalwood and vanilla. He doesn’t sleep well that night, especially after his phone dings a little after one in the morning, a small notification telling him that his submission email has been opened by his partner. Good. They don’t ever have to see each other again.

 

“Kyungsoo, do you know who last used the student council credit card?” Doyeon asks him, her perfect, pink planner sitting in her arms.

“Uh, yeah,” he answers. He’s the treasurer of course he knows. It takes him a second longer to think about it though. “Joy used it to buy Subway for the Chemistry Club’s meeting. She hasn’t given me the receipt yet but the card is back with Mr. Cho.”

“That girl,” Doyeon huffs, angrily writing something down in her planner, “just because she’s a junior class representative doesn’t mean she can use our funds to help out her other club. I mean it’s not _our_ fault they blew out their entire year’s funding for their stupid Halloween party.”

“She got approval from Mr. Cho,” Kyungsoo recalls.

“That doesn’t make a difference,” Doyeon snaps, shutting her planner. “She should know better.”

“Maybe take it up with Junmyeon?” Kyungsoo suggests, mentioning their President’s name. Kyungsoo is just the treasurer. All he does is collect funding requests and submit them to Mr. Cho and Junmyeon to verify and then keep track of where the money actually goes in his intricately set up spreadsheet.

“Oh look, there she is,” Doyeon catches a glimpse of Joy walking to her first class with her friends. “I’m going to talk to her myself. Hey! Joy!” She calls out, walking with a vengeance towards the junior class representative. Kyungsoo lets out a breath of relief and thanks the heavens that his first class is in the opposite direction. He does not want to be in the middle of a Joy/Doyeon fight. Big mistake though because he walks right into a broad, firm chest and he stumbles backwards.

“Sorry,” he quickly mumbles, bowing his head and making a big detour around the other student. He doesn’t even wait for any type of acknowledgement and walks briskly away, the tips of his ears cherry red. It’s been a month and a half. They haven’t talked at all, not even in the same history class anymore since a new trimester has started. They got an A on that assignment. Kyungsoo is trying his best to forget all about it.

 

“You’re just staying home for break?” Jongdae asks him as they drive home together. Jongdae lives only two blocks away from Kyungsoo and is so lovely and kind to drive Kyungsoo to and from school, even though his whiny ass complains about it all the time. Kyungsoo pays him back in food and homework answers. His best friend is such a teenager.

“Yup,” Kyungsoo nods. “My aunt and uncle bought my grandparents cruise tickets so they aren’t even coming over for Christmas this year.”

“That sounds lonely, Soo,” Jongdae frowns. “Just you and your mom and dad. Will Seungsoo be home?”

“I dunno,” Kyungsoo answers blankly.

“What is he up to again?” Jongdae asks. “Is he acting like a piece of shit again?”

“You know he’s complicated,” Kyungsoo says.

“Good for nothing bozo,” Jongdae mutters under his breath, “that’s what he is.” Kyungsoo doesn’t like talking about Seungsoo.

“How long are you going to be in Cancun for?” Kyungsoo asks. Jongdae’s family always goes to Cancun during winter break.

“Full two weeks,” Jongdae grimaces. “Won’t be able to chill with you at all.”

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo chuckles, “just wanted to know how many quiet days I would have without you.”

“Hey,” Jongdae whines. “You love me and my not so quietness.”

“Just shut up and pay attention to the road,” Kyungsoo laughs, pointing at the yellow light coming upon them.

 

His mom requests for them to set up the tree together on the first day of his break, five days before Christmas. He doesn’t really see the point since they won’t have any guests to show it off to but he humors her and lets her play Christmas carols while he hangs shiny little ornaments on their fake tree. She’s even bought fake snow this year and sprays it all over the branches.

“Now stand next to it so I can take a picture and send it to your grandparents,” she coos at him, her phone whipped out and ready.

“Mom,” he whines, sounding a lot like Jongdae. “I’m not four anymore.”

“Oh, just do it,” she tells him. “They’ve been sending me pictures of their cruise and they say that they miss you.”

He gives in and smiles, holding his fingers up in a v for her.

“Aww,” she coos, showing him afterwards. “My good boy,” she rubs his head. He wants to remind her again that he’s turning eighteen soon but he just leaves it. He’s a good boy.

 

Kyungsoo wakes up the next morning, gagging on his own saliva as he runs to his bathroom, not even making it to the toilet and settling for the sink as he tries to throw up whatever is making his throat squeeze. He turns on the faucet to rinse it away, using the clean water to pat his sweaty face down. He doesn’t think much about it, brushing his teeth and going downstairs for breakfast. He and dad are going indoor mini golfing today.

It happens again the next morning. One moment he’s fine, just scrolling through the pictures Jongdae sent of himself in an avocado facemask but then he feels it creeping up his throat quickly and he rushes to the toilet this time, dry heaving again until something comes out. He flushes, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. This is weird. Maybe he is coming down with the stomach flu.

He doesn’t tell his mom, because she’ll make a big fuss about it and make him stay in bed and pour nasty liquid medicine down his throat. He doesn’t even feel _that_ sick and just fills up a water bottle to make sure he’s hydrated and pops a precautionary ibuprofen. Baekhyun’s plans with his dad had been canceled so he’s spending Christmas at his mom’s house. They’re going to watch a movie tomorrow and Kyungsoo doesn’t want to sit out on it.

He throws up twice before Baekhyun picks him up but other than that he feels fine. He takes another ibuprofen and covers his mouth with a mask, just in case he is contagious. Halfway through the movie he has to leave, dashing to the bathroom and actually kneeling on the grimy floor to the throw up into the public toilet. His mouth is so dry and the after taste is awful. He buys an overpriced water bottle to gargle and rinse because the smell coming out of the tap fountain just makes him want to gag all over again.

“You missed the best part,” Baekhyun tells him as they walk back to the car.

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo mumbles. “Nature was calling.”

 

He doesn’t throw up anymore that night but the smell of garlic coming from his mom’s pork roast has his head spinning. It’s one of her favorite recipes though so he sucks it up and takes a few bites, excusing himself to the kitchen for a glass of ice water and swallowing another ibuprofen down with it. He barely finishes half of his plate, just eating the portions of his rice that hasn’t touched the meat and stabbing a few pieces of steamed vegetables.

He has a weird dream that night. He’s standing in a cave. It’s filled with gold and countless treasures but in the far back, there’s something glowing. It’s cold in the dream, really, really cold and he feels himself being summoned to the glowing object so he walks closer and closer until he’s standing right in front of it.

It’s a large egg, pearly white and emitting some type of iridescent light. The warmth radiating off of it is tempting and a particularly cold breeze traveling all the way to back of the cave pushes Kyungsoo forward, wrapping his arms around it and sighing in content. The egg is so warm and it feels so nice.

There are cracking sounds a few seconds later and worried, Kyungsoo steps back. It’s stopped glowing and Kyungsoo is afraid. Did he break it? In moments the entire egg has cracked open, leaving only a shard of white shell at the bottom, cradling an iridescent creature. Kyungsoo steps closer to take a better look. It’s a purple baby dragon, curled up and deep asleep.

He wakes up to bile rushing up his throat again and he’s not even disgusted anymore as he heaves into the toilet. He thinks he needs a new toothbrush and maybe some bland chicken porridge to help him get over this flu. If he’s not better by the day after Christmas, he’ll have to tell his mom.

She asks for him to help out in the kitchen as she bakes cookies to pass out to the neighbors. Dad is at work today, getting that holiday pay since they don’t have any major festivities planned at home. Kyungsoo sprinkles powdered sugar over their double chocolate chip fudge cookies before bagging them prettily in a holographic goodie bag and tying it all up with a chunky ribbon. He feels tired after doing the dishes, complaining about a headache and going up to his room to take a nap. When he wakes up three hours later, his mom has already finished delivering the cookies and he can hear her getting started on Christmas Eve dinner. It’s always special to her and she goes all out, even if it’s just the three of them at home. He goes down to help out again, chopping up the vegetables that she needs. His favorite marinated pork ribs have been sitting in the fridge for twenty-four hours already. He can’t wait to eat them, fight his dad for the last one on the plate later. He doesn’t ask about Seungsoo. His mom is in a good mood, he doesn’t want to ruin that.

She wants them to dress nice for dinner, in their best business casual clothes so she can take pictures to send to all of their relatives. Kyungsoo is in his room slipping on his baby blue dress shirt after he’s gelled his hair a bit. The problem comes when he tries to button up his slacks. They slide on just fine, a little tight at his thighs but for the life of him, he can’t squeeze his stomach in enough to button them up. He doesn’t know why he’s so frustrated over this, tears squeezing out of the corners of his eyes as he sucks in another breath and pulls at the button. They fit two months ago when he wore them for his choir concert. He hasn’t gained that much weight, right? His school pants had still fit four days ago and even though he’s only been wearing sweatpants since he’s started break, he hasn’t been binging on junk food _that_ much. Plus he’s been throwing up every morning. The pants should fit goddammit.

He gets so frustrated that he ends snapping the button off and he sits down on his bed and lets the tears run down his face, his pants unbuckled and his stomach slightly bulging out of them. He feels so stupid. This is so stupid. He shouldn’t be crying over a pair of pants but he is and he can’t stop.

He hears his mom call for him and he hastily wipes away his tears, sliding the pants off and walking to Seungsoo’s abandoned room, digging in his brother’s drawers for clothes he might have left behind. He finds an old pair of slacks in there and puts them on. They’re big for him. Seungsoo has always been a little wider, a lot taller, but it’s nothing a belt can’t fix. By the time he gets downstairs, the table is already set up and his parents are waiting for him, smiles on their faces.

He forgets all about the pants issue as he stuffs his face with rice and ribs and _japchae_ and the other dishes his mom so lovingly made. The food is so good that he has three servings and he does fight his dad for the last rib. His mom teases him, saying her little chubster has returned. He doesn’t even care, dipping his spoonful of rice into the _jjigae_ before eating it.

His dad offers to do the dishes since they cooked. Kyungsoo changes back into sweatpants and his choir hoodie, feeling a lot more comfortable as he sits on the living room couch, going through his phone. Jongdae is sending him drunk messages and he screenshots them for blackmail later. Mom is still working on her cross-stitch, humming some eighties ballad that she used to play in the kitchen until Seungsoo broke their boom box during one of his rages. Kyungsoo bought her a blue tooth speaker last year, so she could play music again.

“Who wants a glass of wine?” His dad comes out of the kitchen, holding up his special rosé. He gives a sneaky wink at Kyungsoo.

“Hyunwook, no,” his mom says not looking amused at all. “He’s not legal yet.”

“One glass won’t hurt,” his dad complains. “It’s Christmas Eve! Let the boy have some fun. Besides we need to get him ready for all those college parties.”

“I said no,” she repeats firmly, giving him a sharp glare. “And Kyungsoo won’t be going to any college parties or participate in any reckless activities. He’s a good boy.”

His dad looks like he’s about to argue back. Alcohol becomes a very sensitive topic with them very quickly and Kyungsoo doesn’t want Christmas Eve to be ruined.

“Dad,” Kyungsoo says, “It’s okay. I don’t want any.”

“You sure, bud?” His dad asks, ignoring the nasty look mom sends.

“I’m good,” Kyungsoo nods. “Maybe next year.”

“Next year then,” his dad agrees. “It’ll be me, you, and this big old bottle of wine.”

 

Kyungsoo forgets his charger cord downstairs and he goes to pick it up, turning on the hallway light and quietly walking down the stairs. There’s still light peeking through his parent’s door and he can hear quiet talking. When he finds his cord, plugged in next to the tree right where he left it, he grabs a class of water and the entire bottle of ibuprofen just in case he needs it in the middle of the night. He walks back up the stairs, not bothering to be quiet since he knows his parents are awake. He’s going to knock on their door, wish them a final good night when he hears their conversation.

“And she’s pregnant,” his mom says, not sounding too impressed. “They’ve only been married for three months but she’s already five months along.”

“Well at least they were engaged,” his dad says. “It’s better than a child born out of wedlock.”

“I can’t believe she didn’t even find out till now,” his mom replies. “Five months along is very noticeable. When I had the boys, I was throwing up after two months and I was always so sensitive and I gained weight. I definitely knew I was pregnant.”

Kyungsoo feels his throat go dry, his tongue like sandpaper against the roof of his mouth.

“Kids these days,” his mom scoffs. “So self centered and all about me that they don’t even notice they’re carrying a whole baby! She’s so behind on all her prenatal treatments too. I bet she was drinking while she was pregnant since she didn’t know.”

“Well that’s her child to worry about, not ours,” his dad hums.

“At least we have Kyungsoo,” his mom says. “Such a good boy. I know he’ll never let us down.”

Kyungsoo knocks on the door quickly, opening it without waiting for an answer.

“Can I take the car to the store?” He blurts out. “I forgot to get Jongdae a gift.”

“Honey, it’s almost midnight,” his mom frowns.

“There’s that 24 hour store,” Kyungsoo says. “I already know what I’m going to get him. I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”

“Keys are in the cup,” his dad tells him. “Drive safely.” Kyungsoo nods before he’s dashing into his room and setting down his water and pills, grabbing his wallet and thundering down the stairs.

“You can’t keep treating him like a child,” he hears his dad argue with his mom.

 

He hates driving, hates it with a burning passion. His hands always clam up when they wrap around the wheel and his foot goes stiff when he presses against the pedals. He doesn’t even know how he got his license but he rarely uses it, depending on Jongdae and his dad for rides instead or even using the bus.

He’s in a rush but his driving anxiety makes him drive so slowly, double-checking every crosswalk and barely going above the speed limit. There’s an impatient car behind him that eventually merges into the other lane and speeds past him. Kyungsoo doesn’t feel sorry at all.

He parks as close as he can to the entrance and nearly forgets to lock the car as he walks briskly into the store. He doesn’t even know what aisle he should be in, too embarrassed to ask anyone too. He speed reads the signs hanging above each aisle and eventually finds the right one, walking in with his hoodie pulled up over his head.

There are so many brands and options and he’s already feeling so overwhelmed and antsy that he just grabs three different brands and tosses them into his basket. He walks to the chip aisle too and tosses in his favorite brand of tortilla chips and a jar of cheese dip as if they’ll be able to hide what he’s buying.

He knows that he has classmates working at this store and he scans the checkout aisles to avoid walking into any of their lines. He chooses a line belonging to a guy in his mid twenties with long tangled hair and a half-baked look in his eyes. Kyungsoo doesn’t even toss things out onto the belt, just setting the whole basket there.

“Paper or plastic?” The worker lazily asks him, scanning each of the tests.

“Paper,” Kyungsoo mumbles. No one can see through a paper bag.

“Okay,” the guy says, scanning his other items now. Kyungsoo pays with his debit card and doesn’t even wait for the receipt before he’s walking back towards the parking lot. The drive home is even more stressful because now he has to deal with the things in that bag.

When he pulls into the driveway he can see that his parent’s lights are off, they’re probably asleep now. He’s quiet as he toes off his shoes and drops the keys back into the cup by the door. Paper bags rustle less too and he dumps the contents onto his bed, grabbing the three boxes and dipping into his bathroom. The instructions are all pretty clear: pee here, wait this long, look for this symbol.

He chews on his lip while he waits, the skin peeling and his heartbeat echoing uncomfortably in his head. He’s praying to every single fucking god and goddess out there that all three are negative. He just has the flu. No big deal. Three more days of throwing up and he’ll be all good to go again.

His timer rings and he jumps, turning around to face his fate. All three tests are staring back at him obnoxiously. One has a smiling face, the other has two lines on it, and the last one is clear as day because it reads back **_pregnant_**.

Kyungsoo’s phone dings again, a message from Baekhyun in their group chat:

 

HOE HOE HOE season has arrived 🎅 put on your rudolph panties 🔴 pop ur peppermint pussy 🍬 and sit by the fireplace with some hot COCKLATE 🍆☕if u want to get RAWED 👉👌 under the mistletoe 🌿 this christmASS 🎁 send this to 15 of your sluttiest elves 👩👨 if u get 0 back 😔 ur an UGLY GRINCH👀 if u get 5 back 😌 🔥🙌 SHARE in 69 😉💦 seconds or you won’t be gettin dicked down 😱

 

_Baekhyun has renamed the chat “Santa’s Naughty Boys’_

 

Baekhyun

Merry Christmas my little elves! Hope you’re all on the naughty list this year you bad boys!

 

Kyungsoo looks at the time. It’s midnight now. Merry fucking Christmas to him.

 

 


	2. part two

 

“Do you think we’ll have enough money for an ice sculpture?” Junmyeon asks him as they walk to their shared literature class in the morning. They’re going over details for the school’s winter formal in a few weeks.

Kyungsoo is holding his binder and books low, covering his stomach as if people can see what’s wrong with him. He knows he shouldn’t be so paranoid, nobody should be able to notice yet but his anxiety is telling him that everyone had developed x-ray vision during the break and are well aware of how badly he’s fucked up.

“I’d have to check again,” he tells Junmyeon. “It might be a little tight but I’m sure if we get rid of the mascot themed cake and settled for cupcakes we’ll be able to squeeze by.”

“Oooh,” Junmyeon purses his lips. “Krystal fought really hard for that tiger design to be approved and sent to the bakery.”

“Well I think it’s cringey,” Kyungsoo says, “and cupcakes are just much easier to serve. If she doesn’t want everyone looking like idiots stuffing their faces then we’ll just provide forks like usual.”

“I’ll bring it up at the next meeting,” Junmyeon sighs. “If she cuts my head off though, you get to take it home.”

“I’ll hang it next to the others,” Kyungsoo says, opening the classroom door for Junmyeon.

He barely pays attention to the lesson while his teacher drones on and on about Antigone. He really should be listening, especially because he didn’t finish any of the assigned readings over the break but his brain just isn’t in the right place. He had tried to sit down and read but his mind always went into overdrive and his thoughts were consumed by a much more pressing matter.

He had spent the last few days of break, pacing his room and panicking, his anxiety eating away at his sanity. The first thing he had done was look up the side effects of taking ibuprofen. The results had terrified him. Apparently it wasn’t the recommended pain reliever for pregnant individuals, especially in the third trimester because it could cause serious complications with the baby. It had also been shown to possibly increase the chances of miscarriage in the first trimester. Kyungsoo had thrown the ibuprofen bottle back into the medicine cabinet downstairs and grabbed the Tylenol instead. He doesn’t think he’s going to miscarry though, based on the fact that he’s still throwing up his guts every morning and occasionally in the afternoons.

He’s been reading other websites too and browsing through forums, all incognito of course. If he’s estimated everything right, he’s in his eleventh week. It’s the size of a strawberry right now, or a lime, or a brussel sprout. Different websites keep on telling him different things. He has one week to get rid of it before he can’t anymore. He’s already set up an appointment with a center forty-five minutes away from home. He’ll have to ask for the car again, drive there himself. But then it’ll all be over with. No one will ever know. It will be his secret to take to the grave.

 

He has lunch with Jongdae, who brings him back a keychain from Mexico just like he always does. Kyungsoo will hang it up later on his corkboard along with all the other trinkets and knick knacks he’s received from his friends over the years. He lets Jongdae talk, retelling his exciting stories from his resort and the shit his older brother and cousins got into, reserving a few details of course. Jongdae knows that Kyungsoo feels uncomfortable talking about that stuff. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t know what weed smells like, doesn’t even know the difference between molly and meth. All street drugs are just bad drugs to him. He’s made a personal vow to never touch them.

They separate after lunch, Jongdae on his way to his physics class and Kyungsoo heading to his locker to grab his calculus stuff. He’s thankful they weren’t assigned any homework over the break. He would have never been able to focus on derivatives when he was having a mental breakdown over a fetus.

He’s grabbing his textbook when there’s a tap on his shoulder and a subtle cough behind him. He closes his locker and turns around, his stomach suddenly falling into the deepest pit when he sees who wanted his attention.

“Hey,” Jongin says, nervously, standing a little too close to the smaller boy. Kyungsoo clutches his book tightly across his lower abdomen. Why of all times does Kim Jongin decide to approach him now? They haven’t talked in weeks, never even talked even before they were assigned as partners for that history report.

“Can I talk to you for a moment?” Jongin asks quietly, leaning in so no one else can hear them.

“I have to get to class,” Kyungsoo mumbles out quickly, making a move to escape. Jongin counter moves, blocking his exit.

“Please,” Jongin breathes out. “We really need to talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Kyungsoo says, moving the other direction. Jongin mimics him, blocking him again. Kyungsoo thinks he’s going to cry.

“I really think we need to talk,” Jongin says, reaching out to hold Kyungsoo’s shoulder lightly. Kyungsoo flinches and Jongin’s retracts his hand, looking a little a hurt.

“Taemin said he saw you at his job over break,” Jongin starts, having a hard time making eye contact. Kyungsoo feels all the blood rush out of his face, his body suddenly getting faint and dizzy. “He said that he saw you buying pregnancy tests,” Jongin begins to speak quickly but still quietly, wanting to get it over with too. “Kyungsoo, are you pregnant?”

“Mr. Kim and Mr. Doh,” a pretentious voice cuts through the air. “Running a little late now, aren’t we?” It’s their vice principal, Mr. Kwon patrolling the halls. Kyungsoo looks around. The hallway is completely empty, everyone else already in their classes. Kyungsoo hasn’t even heard the warning bell or the actual bell ring.

“Sorry,” Jongin mumbles, stepping away from Kyungsoo.

“Detention for the both of you,” Mr. Kwon says, writing out something on a notepad before tearing it off and handing it to each of them.

“Detention?” Kyungsoo whispers in disbelief. He’s never had detention before. He’s never even been tardy or turned in late work.

“After school, room 235 with me and the rest of the bad boys,” Mr. Kwon nods. Kyungsoo doesn’t know if it’s possible for him to turn even paler. He thinks he’s going to be sick.

“After school, I can't,” Jongin says. “I have that thing,” he continues vaguely. Mr. Kwon looks at him funny before he makes a face of realization.

“Oh,” he replies, “you do have that thing. Well you’re excused then, Jongin.” He writes Jongin a new note, tearing up the old one. “Mr. Doh, I’ll be expecting you this afternoon then. It’ll be nice to see a fresh face in there. Now get to class, both of you.” He turns and walks away, towards a different hallway to see if there are any other stragglers.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin starts again.

“Just go away,” Kyungsoo says harshly, moving successfully this time. “You’ve done enough for me.” He walks towards his calc class, not turning back to see if Jongin is still standing there.

 

“You? Detention?” Jongdae nearly shrieks as Kyungsoo finally walks towards his car. “I thought someone had stolen your phone and hacked into it when you texted me.”

“Thanks for waiting,” Kyungsoo mumbles, tossing his backpack in the back seat and buckling up. Only Jongdae would sit in the parking lot for forty-five minutes for him.

“What even happened?” Jongdae asks. “I heard that Kim Jongin kid was bugging you.”

“Something like that,” Kyungsoo says, closing his eyes and massaging his head. He just wants to go home and sleep now. It’s only been the first day back and he’s so over high school.

“And I bet he didn’t even show up to detention, huh?” Jongdae sneers.

“He didn’t get detention,” Kyungsoo sighs. “Kwon let him go.”

“Really?” Jongdae asks. “You know there are rumors about his dad being a gang member. That’s why he never gets into any serious trouble even though he sleeps in class and is tardy all the time. I heard he even has a tattoo. What 17 year old already has a tattoo? Nothing but trouble, that guy. I don’t like him one bit.”

“Can we not talk about this anymore?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Sure thing,” Jongdae shuts up immediately. That’s why he’s Kyungsoo’s best friend.

 

“Why are you home so late?” His mom asks him when he finally swings through the garage door.

“Jongdae had a meeting with a classmate,” he lies easily. “So I had to wait for him.”

“Oh, honey,” his mom says, “next time just call me to come pick you up.”

“Okay,” he nods. “Can I take the car out on Saturday?”

“Saturday? Why?” His mom asks.

“Baekhyun’s at his dad’s over the weekend and he wants to go shopping. So I was going to pick him up and take him to the mall,” he lies again.

“Jongdae can’t take him?” His mom asks.

“It’s his grandpa’s birthday party so he can’t,” Kyungsoo lies one more time.

“Well I guess it’s fine,” she nods. “I don’t want you out all day though.”

“I won’t be,” Kyungsoo says. Then he heads upstairs to his room where he changes out of his uniform, just in his boxers and he curls onto his bed with a pile of blankets over him. His hand is resting on his bare stomach. He only has four days left with the strawberry lime sprout hybrid. Then everything will go back to normal.

 

“Can we talk now?” Jongin says, cornering Kyungsoo after school the next day. Kyungsoo had been avoiding him all day, taking the long way to classes and sticking to his student council members, even choosing to walk with Joy and listening to her talk about being a dog whisperer.

“My ride is waiting for me,” Kyungsoo says, trying to get out of the situation once again.

“I’ll drive you home,” Jongin says. Kyungsoo begins chewing on his chapped lips again.

“Please,” Jongin begs. There are people looking at them again. Everyone has heard by now that the good boy Kyungsoo got detention yesterday. He wonders if they know about the strawberry lime sprout hybrid. Did Taemin tell people? Did Jongin tell everyone? All of a sudden Kyungsoo really needs to talk to Jongin too.

“Fine,” he says, sending a message to Jongdae. Jongin lets out a breath of relief and Kyungsoo follows him to his car.

The gray sedan is familiar, the pine scent diffusing around the car and the little dog tag hanging on the rear view mirror. Jongin begins to drive and Kyungsoo squeezes his fists together tightly. They don’t talk until Jongin pulls into Kyungsoo’s driveway. His mom’s car is gone. It’s just them. Jongin turns his body to the side so he’s facing Kyungsoo.

“Are you?” He asks, his breath shaking. Kyungsoo knows what he’s referring to. He can’t help it when his eyes begin to slowly water. He never cries this much. He hates it.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin says his name, leaning closer. Jongin still smells the same, his voice is just as soft and Kyungsoo remembers that night suddenly.

He nods slowly, confirming Jongin’s question. Yes, he’s pregnant. He’s seventeen-almost eighteen-and pregnant.

“Oh,” Jongin says, taking his hand and squeezing it tightly. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“Who else knows?” Kyungsoo begins to cry. He can’t have anyone else finding out. He’s already ruined his reputation for himself. He doesn’t think he can handle it, everyone staring at him, judging him, making up stories about him.

“I told Taemin to shut his fucking mouth,” Jongin says, rubbing the back of his hand softly. “I’ll kill him if he tells anyone. This is our thing. No one else needs to butt in.”

“How did he even know it was me?” Kyungsoo sobs, trying to catch his breath.

“The back of your hoodie,” Jongin says. “It had your name on it.” Kyungsoo thinks back and remembers he was wearing his fucking choir hoodie. He was such an idiot.

“We’ll get through this,” Jongin says. “I’ll be with you every single step of the way.”

“I made an appointment on Saturday,” Kyungsoo tells him, through a sniffle. “For an abortion.”

“You want an abortion?” Jongin’s eyes go wide. “Isn’t it too late for that?”

“It’s the last week I can do it,” Kyungsoo says. Jongin’s mouth settles into a very serious line and he loosens his grip on Kyungsoo.

“I know this is _your_ decision and I’m going to respect whatever you choose to do,” he starts out. “But I just wanted to let you know that keeping the baby is an option too. I’ll take care of it, even if you want nothing to do with it after the nine months. I’ll raise them. You won’t ever have to see us again if that’s what you want.”

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo sobs, “I don’t wanna do _this_ ,” he gestures down to his stomach. He doesn’t want to end high school pregnant, known as the school slut, not having the same relationship with his parents ever again. He wouldn’t want to watch Jongin leave either, a little bundle in his arms and never see them again. He’s terrified of every single outcome.

“Okay,” Jongin nods, leaning over to pull Kyungsoo into a hug. “You don’t have to.” Kyungsoo cries into his shoulder for a long time until he finally pulls away, wiping his tears with the back of his hands.

“You should go,” he tells Jongin. “My mom will be home any minute.”

“I’ll watch you walk in first,” Jongin says. “And call me if you need anything. My number hasn’t changed.” Kyungsoo nods and then gets out of the car. Jongin watches until he’s safely inside and he waves. Kyungsoo sends a small wave back and then closes the garage. Jongin is on his side. Everything will be okay.

 

“Did you hear about the senior who is pregnant?” Someone whispers as Kyungsoo walks to his first class the next morning. He stills, holding his books tightly.

“Oh my god, so it’s true?” The other student whispers back. “I thought it was just a rumor. Who is it?”

“I don’t know,” the first student says back. “But it’s been spreading like crazy in all the group chats. I bet it’s Pinky. She’s always talking about how many guys she’s fucked and bragging about not using a condom.”

“Ugh I would expect it from her, that slut,” the second students makes a face. “Her life is fucked.”

Kyungsoo feels like throwing up and it’s not from the morning sickness.

He hears it all day long and his foot won’t stop tapping when he sits at his desk. A senior is pregnant. Their life is fucked. They’re a slut. No one can stop talking about it.

“Did you hear about that pregnant person?” Jongdae asks during lunch as he stabs open his fruit cup. “I heard it was Jungwoo. Jaehyun was freaking out in the locker room the other day about how their condom tore.”

“I don’t really care,” Kyungsoo mumbles, keeping his head down. He wonders if Jongin or Taemin did slip up and release the news. He only has a few days left till the weekend. The nameless rumor can hold out until then and then it’ll all go away. He won’t be pregnant anymore after Saturday.

“It’s kinda sad,” Jongdae continues as he dumps his pineapples on top of Kyungsoo’s tupperware lid. “We’re almost done with high school and out of this hell hole but they put themselves in the worst type of hell. People can get so vicious and judgmental.”

“It’s none of their business,” Kyungsoo says defensively.

“I think it would be scary to have a baby right now,” Jongdae frowns. “I can’t even find the energy or motivation to fold my laundry, imagine having to take care of a baby.”

Kyungsoo can see Taemin getting out of the lunch line from the corner of his eye and they slightly make eye contact. Taemin’s eyes widen before they turn away guiltily. So the other boy did have something to do with the rumor getting out. Kyungsoo hopes Jongin really sucker punches Taemin or something.

It continues all day, his schoolmates talking about the pregnant person and bringing up names and stories. Kyungsoo only keeps an ear out to make sure his name isn’t thrown in the mix and it isn’t. He’s a good boy, a straight A student who always has the neatest uniform and the quietest voice. He’s never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, never shown up at any party or bonfire or non-school sponsored event. He doesn’t even go out on the floor during school dances, just sitting in the back room and watching the coats before helping take down the decorations at the end. He’s practically a wallflower, only known as the smart kid in student council, and he likes it that way. He doesn’t want extra attention or hundreds or acquaintances and ‘clout’. He just wants to get through high school and go to college so he can make his parents proud. He can’t be a fuck up. He can’t be another Seungsoo.

His cousin texts him that night to ask if he’s heard about the pregnant senior at school. She graduated two years ago and is off to college in completely different state. Kyungsoo chews on his lip as he sends back a short _idk_. Why are people so obsessed with this rumor? It’s making him more nauseous than the strawberry lime sprout is. They can’t find out that it’s him. Just the thought of everyone looking at him and judging him and talking about him like they know who he really is makes him want to jump off the nearest bridge. He had been doing so well, getting by high school unscathed. There were only five months left to his four years here. He had wanted to finish them as quietly as possible. His name can’t get out before the week ends. The only thing worse than being known as the pregnant kid in school is being known as the kid who had an abortion.

The stories are even wilder the next few days and every conversation is about the damn pregnancy. Kyungsoo holds his books to his belly discretely as if to block out the noise from his little strawberry lime sprout. Some people say that Pinky had a threesome with the captain of the football team and hockey team and doesn’t know who the dad is. Someone else says that Soojin slept with a freshman and now he’s going to be a fifteen-year-old dad. He finds Jongin’s familiar body later in the hallway before their last class starts. Jongin looks worried but Kyungsoo tries to give him a small nod. No one even suspects that it’s them.

 

“Honey, I heard the craziest thing today at work,” his mother says as she sets the last dish on their dining table for dinner. He and dad are already seated just waiting for her.

“What did you hear?” Kyungsoo asks, spooning some rice onto his plate. Strawberry lime sprout is kind of hungry this evening and really looking forward to the beef decorating the table.

“My coworker told me that her daughter said that one of your classmates is pregnant,” she says with a small scandalized breath. Kyungsoo pauses, his spoon hovering in midair. “Have you heard about this?”

“The whole school is talking about it,” he says carefully. “But it’s just a rumor.”

“Teenagers these days,” his mother shakes her head. “Can’t even turn in their homework on time but getting ready to have a baby instead. It’s just ridiculous.”

Kyungsoo suddenly isn’t so hungry anymore.

“I wonder how these parents raise their kids,” she continues. “Letting their kid’s boyfriends and girlfriends come over with no supervision. That would never happen in my house. Kyungsoo, if you ever bring someone over, the door must be opened at all times.”

“Mom,” Kyungsoo says, not wanting to talk about it.

“Sweetheart,” his dad jumps in. “Let the boy live a little. Kyungsoo is a smart kid. He would use condoms if ever wanted to do _that_.” He wiggles his eyes teasingly at his son. Kyungsoo turns red. He _really_ doesn’t want to have this talk with his parents.

“Kyungsoo is not having premarital sex,” his mom says, shooting a look at her husband. “He’s going to wait until he’s married and then he’ll start a family.”

“You can’t stop them from doing what they want in college,” his dad points out. “You can only hope that you’ve taught them well enough to make the right decisions, and condoms are a great decision.”

“Well I taught my baby Kyungsoo how to be a good boy,” she reminds him.

“Can we please just eat?” Kyungsoo asks, his voice on edge. His parents look at him, a little surprised at his minor outburst but then nod. His father switches over to talking about a work incident instead and Kyungsoo finally shovels the first spoonful of food into his mouth. The weekend needs to come faster. This needs to be over with now.  

 

“Hey,” Jongin corners him again after school on Friday, hands automatically coming up to gently rub at Kyungsoo’s shoulders. The hallways are empty now save for them, everyone rushing home for the weekend. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo grumbles. People just won’t shut up about the whole pregnant senior thing and he’s so annoyed. He hates high school.

“Taemin,” Jongin sighs, “he didn’t tell me that he sent a text to a few other people before he texted me. He didn’t say your name though. He just told them that he saw a classmate in the contraceptive aisle at his job. I made him shut the fuck up though. He’s not going to say anything.”

“Good,” Kyungsoo lets out a breath of relief. Jongin moves closer to him, almost holding him and Kyungsoo lets him. It’s been a long week and he’s exhausted.

“Can I drive you home tonight?” Jongin asks.

“I’d have to text Jongdae,” Kyungsoo tells him. The only reason Kyungsoo is still here is because Jongdae had to do a makeup quiz and he was waiting for him.

“Let’s go then,” Jongin nods, reaching for Kyungsoo’s hand. Kyungsoo sends the text and goes with Jongin.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Jongin asks as they cruise down the neighborhood roads.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo nods. He’s made peace with parting with little strawberry lime sprout. It’s just not the time or the place for it.

“I wish I could go with you,” Jongin frowns. “But I already had something planned for tomorrow and I can’t back out of it.”

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo says. “I think I want to do this alone.”

“Call me,” Jongin says, “if you need anything or if you just need someone to talk to. I’ll do my best to pick up.”

“Thank you, Jongin,” Kyungsoo replies softly. Jongin pulls into his driveway and parks. Kyungsoo doesn’t get out just yet.

“Can I?” Jongin hesitantly asks, lifting his hand up. Kyungsoo nods, unzipping his coat and figuring it’s the least he can do for the other boy. Jongin places his palm over Kyungsoo’s soft uniform vest, warm and firm and he lets it rest there for a few seconds before retracting it.

“I’ll see you next week,” Kyungsoo whispers before he gets out of the car. He watches carefully as Jongin drives away before he closes the front door. No matter what anyone else says, Jongin is a good boy too.

 

He wakes up on Saturday morning pretty calm and gets ready for his appointment, going over the things on the sheet that he printed out. He takes a shower and wears a short-sleeved shirt. He has a light breakfast because he’s not allowed food three hours before the appointment and gulps down two glasses of water. He’s supposed to bring extra pads and warm socks to the appointment too and makes sure he does have his ID and his health insurance on him. He doesn’t know what to do when his mom asks about the sudden bill that may or may not come in but he’ll just make up another lie when the time comes. He’s been good at that lately. He’s also not supposed to drive after the appointment but that can’t be helped. The whole thing is supposed to be a two to three hour process.

The clinic is forty-five minutes away but he decides to leave a little over an hour early just to be safe. He has his bag with him, double checks to make sure everything is in there, including all his paperwork. The house is quiet; his parents must have gone out to run some errands together. He slides on his sneakers, pulling the back of the heel up and punching the garage opener with two fingers. He grabs the carkeys and twists open the garage doorknob only to drop the keys on the concrete floor instead. There’s no car, not parked in the garage or the driveway. He panics and grabs his phone, calling his mom right away. She doesn’t pick up and he’s nearly crying as he tries for the tenth time in a row.

“Hello? Did you need something, honey?” She answers on the other line.

“Mom, where’s the car?” He asks, not even trying to hide his panic.

“Oh, your dad and I took it to get it checked up on. It was making some squeaky noises last night.”

“Mom, I needed the car today,” he all but sobs. “I told you I needed it and you said I could take it.”

“Kyungsoo, honey, it wasn’t safe to take,” she tells him. “Just tell Baekhyun you need to reschedule.”

“I _need_ the car,” he cries into his phone. He hasn’t cried to her in ages, not since he was probably five and still had separation anxiety.

“Dad and I will be back in three hours,” she tells him. “We went to the outlet to look at some ceramic dishware. You can take the car then.” Three hours is too late. His paperwork would expire and the clinic isn’t opened on Sundays to process anything. By Monday, it would be too late and it’s not like he could go to the clinic on a school day anyways. Next Saturday would be way too late. He was so screwed.

“Mom, you said I could take the car,” he argues back even though he knows it’s no use. He just needs to blame someone right now and he wholeheartedly blames her. “You should have told me you took the car in. I would have made other arrangements.” He doesn’t know if he would have been desperate enough to tell Jongdae or Baekhyun. He had wanted to do this alone.

“Kyungsoo, this isn’t anything to be upset over,” she tells him. “You don’t need to be crying.”

“You don’t get it,” Kyungsoo cries ever harder. “I needed the car _today_!”

“And you’ll get it later, honey,” she tells him. “I have to go now. Your dad is about to touch a display that I know he’s going to drop.” She hangs up and Kyungsoo chokes on a sob. He has no car.

He quickly dials Jongin’s number and waits for him to pick up but of course he doesn’t. Jongin said that he was going to be busy today, that he would try and get to the phone but there was no guarantee. Kyungsoo is literally about to have the biggest meltdown in the history of meltdowns. He spends about half an hour just sitting in the doorway and calling Jongin and sending him messages and voicemails and just crying.

He thinks about calling Jongdae or Baekhyun to take him because fuck everything, he just needs to get to that appointment. But when he finally gathers the energy to dial Jongdae, he notices the time and it’s ten minutes to his scheduled appointment. It’s too late now. He’s stuck here. He lets out another strangled cry and grabs his bag, closing the garage and stomping up the stairs to slam his door and flop on his bed as he cries into his pillow. His little strawberry lime sprout is here to stay. His life is so fucked.

He locks himself in his room for the rest of the weekend, not even going out for water or food. His mom knocks on his door every hour, begging him to open up and talk to them. Kyungsoo is still so upset that he sticks the middle finger up at the door every time she comes by. He’s never held that finger up before. He cries off and on, in nothing but a big t-shirt and and his boxers and curled up on his bed. It’s just him and strawberry lime sprout now. He doesn’t even have the energy to begin a plan B.

On Sunday night his dad knocks on his door for the first time.

“Kyungsoo,” he calls for him softly. “I know you’re still upset but you need to eat. I’m leaving you some food outside of your door. You can count to fifteen and then come get. Good night, kiddo. I love you and I hope I’ll see you tomorrow.”

He can hear the shuffle of his dad’s slippers down the hall and he counts to fifteen before he opens the door. Sitting on a tray, is a plate with a freshly heated bacon cheeseburger and crispy fries and a strawberry milkshake. His dad must have gone out to his favorite burger joint and ordered him take out. Kyungsoo holds back a sniffle and brings the tray in and sits on his bed and eats. He hadn’t realized how hungry he actually was until he stuck a fry in his mouth. He holds his stomach as it curls in delight at finally having food for the first time in over a day.

“Sorry,” he whispers, rubbing it gently. Strawberry lime sprout must have been hungry too.

He brushes his teeth afterwards and gets ready for bed, ignoring the unfinished homework still sitting in his backpack. He’ll deal with everything later. He’s seventeen and pregnant, one late assignment isn’t going to end his life anymore.

Just as he’s about to turn off his light, his phone rings and he looks at the screen. Jongin is calling him back and Kyungsoo suddenly flashes back to those embarrassing, sobbing voicemails he left in the other boy’s inbox. He picks up the call with a quiet “Hello?”

“Are you okay?” Jongin rushes out immediately. “I had no service over here and I just got all your calls and messages and I was so worried.”

“I didn’t go,” Kyungsoo says softly. “I didn’t have a car.”

“You didn’t get it done?” Jongin asks, just as soft.

“There was no way for me to,” Kyungsoo feels tears squeezing at his eyes again.

“Oh, Kyungsoo,” Jongin sighs. “It’s okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“Are we really?” Kyungsoo asks, holding back another sob. He’s never been a crier but he’s cried so much this past week and his throat feels swollen and hoarse because of it.

“I get back in town tomorrow morning,” Jongin tells him. “I might be a little late to school but I’ll pick you up after. We can go to my house and talk about things. We’ll figure something out.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo sniffles. He feels a little better, with food in his stomach and Jongin’s voice in his ear. “I should go to bed now.”

“Good night,” Jongin tells him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Jongin,” Kyungsoo says back. He doesn’t know what tomorrow holds but he’s hoping he’ll get through it.

His dad sends him to school in the morning, wanting some father and son time and to talk about what happened over the weekend. Kyungsoo knows it’s not a good time to bring up strawberry lime sprout and he doesn’t.

“Your mom is still upset that you’re finally acting like a teenager,” his dad chuckles, trying to break the ice. Kyungsoo can’t even laugh at that. He’s never had mood swings or outbursts before.

“It’s okay, Kyungsoo,” his dad says softly. “To have feelings and express them. You’re just a boy and everything is unbalanced in your life. I’m actually glad you acted out for once. I was beginning to worry that something was making you so reserved.”

“Dad,” Kyungsoo sighs.

“I love you, kid,” his dad stops at a red light and ruffles his hair. “I just want you to be happy. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you about the car and I’m sorry we ruined your plans for the weekend.”

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo says, feeling bad for making them worry now.

“Your birthday is soon,” his dad brings up. Kyungsoo straightens his back at that. He hasn’t even been thinking about his birthday. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says. Will he have told his parents about strawberry lime sprout by then? Will they even want to celebrate with him?

“We still have time to think about it,” his dad nods, pulling into the drop-off lane of the school. “I’ll see you home later. Have a good day at school!”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo mumbles, getting out of the car and trudging up the concrete stairs. He’s so busy in his own thoughts that he doesn’t even notice other people pausing to look at him.

Jongdae ambushes him at his locker, closing in on him and his fingers trembling.

“Kyungsoo, is it true?” he asks quietly. Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose, confused.

“What are you talking about?” Kyungsoo asks back. Jongdae takes a deep breath and closes his eyes before he opens his mouth again.

“Are you the one who’s pregnant?”

Kyungsoo feels all the color drain from his face and he drops his pencil pouch onto the floor, it falling with a sharp clang.

“How did you know?” Kyungsoo doesn’t even deny it, his voice barely a whisper as his own fingers begin to shake.

“Doyeon said that she saw you and Kim Jongin talking about it Friday after school,” Jongdae says. “Everyone is saying that it’s you.” Kyungsoo is suddenly too aware of everyone looking at him and Jongdae and the whispers as people pass by them. Everyone knows now. Everyone is talking about him now.

“I have to go,” Kyungsoo says, squeezing past Jongdae and running to the nearest bathroom. He doesn’t even know what he’s supposed to do in the bathroom but he paces back and forth, trying to calm himself down and not burst into tears again. He hears the warning bell ring and he washes his hands and splashes water on his face before walking to his first class. The hallways are emptier now and he slips into class unnoticed, as everyone else is busy talking. His teacher comes in and starts the lesson but Kyungsoo can barely pay attention because the whispers are starting again.

_“That’s him, he’s the one that’s pregnant with Kim Jongin’s baby.”_

_“Oh my god no way. But he’s like a nerd. Why would Kim Jongin sleep with him?”_

_“Do you think it was forced? Kyungsoo is such a goody two shoes.”_

_“It’s always the quiet ones that get into trouble.”_

_“I heard he fucked one of the guys on the soccer team too.”_

_“What a slut. Couldn’t even have used a condom.”_

_“I heard he did rounds with the hockey team after their banquet.”_

Kyungsoo’s worst nightmare has come true and he buries his head into his arms to block out everything. He’s trying so hard not to cry and he’s the first out the door when the bell rings, darting to his next class and sitting in the far back corner and hiding in his arms again. He can hear his classmates less from here but they’re still talking about him, turning their heads back to sneak judging glances at him. If Kyungsoo could, he would ditch school, run back home and lock himself in his room for the rest of his life but he has no car and it’s freezing outside. He wouldn’t survive out there for ten minutes.

Halfway through third hour, there’s a knock on the classroom door. His teacher opens it and it’s the vice principal. Everyone in the room turns back and automatically looks at Kyungsoo.

“Can I see Mr. Doh in my office?” Mr. Kwon asks politely. Kyungsoo feels like dying on the spot. He gathers his things and shuffles out of the classroom. His teacher gives him a sympathetic look and Kyungsoo feels so ashamed. Even the teachers know the stories floating around now. His life is never going to be the same.

He’s lead to the office, the walk between him and Mr. Kwon too quiet. Inside the vice principal’s office he recognizes the school nurse, the social worker and his academic advisor waiting for them. He’s instructed to take a seat and he sits down in the middle seat numbly. It all feels like a haze to him, like this isn’t really happening.

“So, Kyungsoo,” Mr. Kwon starts out carefully. “There has been some startling conversation going around the school this morning and we’ve decided the need to personally check in with you and make sure that you’re doing okay.” Kyungsoo just sits there, his fingers wringing together nervously. He’s sure he’s as pale as the moon right now, staring straight ahead and not making eye contact with any of the adults in the room.

“We just wanted to know, sweetheart,” the social worker touches his arm lightly, trying to be comforting but it just makes Kyungsoo flinch. “Are you really pregnant?”

Kyungsoo blinks and the tears begin to run down his face and he nods, knowing that he can’t lie anymore. He’s biting on his lip so hard, he’s sure it’s about to break and start bleeding and he takes in a shuddering breath.

“Oh, it’s okay sweetheart,” the social worker tells him softly. “We’ll figure this out. We just want to help you. I know you’re terrified right now but it’s going to be okay.” He feels like an idiot, crying in front of school staff but everything is just a mess right now. There’s a knock on the door and the front desk lady peeks her head in. She takes one look at Kyungsoo and his tears and she frowns sympathetically.

“A Mr. Kim Jongin demands that he be included in on this meeting,” she says. “He says that he’s the father.”

“Bring him in,” Mr. Kwon nods. Jongin comes in shortly and Kyungsoo wipes his tears away as best as he can. Someone moves so Jongin can sit next to Kyungsoo.

“So we do have a situation here,” Mr. Kwon tells them. “And we only want to do what is best for you two.” Kyungsoo and Jongin both nod in understanding.

“Do your parents know?” Mr. Kwon asks.

“No,” Kyungsoo says. His mother is going to be furious when she finds out.

“Would you like help in telling them?” The social worker asks. “I can be there if you need me to.”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo mumbles. He doesn’t know what the next steps are. All he knows is that he’s going to have this baby.

“Do you know far along you are?” The school nurse asks him.

“Twelve weeks,” he whispers, his hand automatically going to his belly. They talk a little more, about school, about dealing with the rumors, and the health programs that Kyungsoo has access to. Mr. Kwon says that he can take the rest of the day off, an excused absence. Jongin asks for the day off too and it’s granted. They leave school in the middle of fourth hour, right before the first lunch block starts, away from everyone else’s peering eyes. Kyungsoo ignores the messages from Jongdae and Baekhyun and his student council friends. He blocks Doyeon’s number just because he can. Jongin drives them to his place.

Jongin’s apartment is just as cozy and warm as he remembers from that month of October. There are lifestyle magazines scattered on the coffee table and a tea stained mug in the sink. Jongin sits on the couch and Kyungsoo sits next to him, sinking into the worn out fabric and letting his shoulders slump for the first time all day.

“What do you want to do?” Jongin asks him, hands searching for his fingers and then curling around them comfortingly.

“Sleep,” Kyungsoo answers honestly. Jongin chuckles at his answer.

“I didn’t mean right now but we can do that too. I was talking about the baby.” Kyungsoo looks at him and Jongin is staring at his belly with eyes so warm.

“It’s too late for the abortion,” Kyungsoo says, his hand going to rub at strawberry lime sprout. “No doctor will do it now, unless it’s a medical emergency. So I have to carry it out.”

“I told you before, that I would take care of everything,” Jongin reminds him. “You don’t have to do a thing afterwards, Kyungsoo.”

“I don’t know if I want you to do that,” Kyungsoo tells him quietly.

“Do you want to do it with me?” Jongin asks. “Do you want to have this baby together?”

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo almost whimpers. Can he even raise a baby? What about college? Will his parents let him keep it? Or will they kick him out and leave him to fend for himself on the streets like in those dramas?

“We have time,” Jongin says, sensing his nerves and pulling him in for a comforting hug. Kyungsoo just lets himself relax into it. Jongin feels warm and safe and Kyungsoo doesn’t have anywhere else to turn to.

“Should we sleep now?” Jongin asks softly. Kyungsoo sniffles and nods and Jongin takes his hand again.

Kyungsoo’s nap lasts a little over four hours and when he wakes up, Jongin’s arms are wrapped around him just like the last time he was here, the time they had sex. He doesn’t know if Jongin is awake yet but he snuggles in closer, indulging in the body heat and just the closeness of them. The taller boy still smells like sandalwood and vanilla and the scent is comforting to him. He feels Jongin slide a hand under his untucked school shirt, heavy palm resting where strawberry lime sprout is growing.

“My mom is going to kill me,” Kyungsoo croaks out suddenly.

“We should tell them tonight,” Jongin says, an apprehension in his voice too. “Will your dad strangle me?”

“I don’t even know,” Kyungsoo buries his head into Jongin’s chest.

“But we should tell them,” Jongin sighs.

“Where are your parents?” Kyungsoo wonders. He’s actually never met Jongin’s mom or dad in the month that he was over here doing their project. There’s always food in the fridge and the water and electricity is running though so Kyungsoo assumes that Jongin is being taken care of.

“Work,” Jongin answers simply. It makes sense so Kyungsoo just nods and leans more of himself against Jongin.

They get up for food a little while later. Jongin frying some eggs and pulling out a tub of homemade side dishes. Kyungsoo’s mouth waters at the radish kimchi and Jongin quietly packs some in a small glass Tupperware for him later.

The food makes Kyungsoo sleepy again and he curls up on the couch with a blanket that Jongin brings out.

“Does baby make it hard on you?” Jongin asks, referring to the physical side effects.

“I throw up in the mornings and sometimes throughout the day,” Kyungsoo says, “and some of my pants don’t fit anymore. I cried over that.”

“We’ll go buy new ones,” Jongin promises.

“But then they won’t fit again in a month,” Kyungsoo points out.

“I’ll just keep buying you new pants then,” Jongin tells him, a small smile on his face. Jongin has always been so sweet.

 


	3. part three

 

Kyungsoo’s palms are sweating as Jongin turns the corner of his street. He can see both of the cars parked on the driveway, which only gives him more anxiety because that means dad is home early. He doesn’t know if he would rather face his mom alone or face both of them. Jongin looks nervous too, parking on the curb and taking a deep breath.

“How should we tell them?” He turns to look at Kyungsoo. They hadn’t even planned what they were going to say. It was quite simple really. Just a straight up “‘Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant and this is the other dad.” There was no way to sugar coat it or romanticize it to lessen the blow.

“Let’s just get it over with,” Kyungsoo sighs. They can’t stall any longer.

It turns out that they don’t need to say anything though.

“Doh Kyungsoo, are you out of your mind?” His mother screams out before he can even open the door all the way, like she’s been waiting for him to come home. “Why didn’t you answer any of your calls or reply to my messages? Do you have any idea what people have been telling me all day? They keep on saying that you’re pregnant but that’s crazy. They’re telling me some gangster got you pregnant but how could that even happen-,” she sees Jongin standing behind Kyungsoo, looking every bit as guilty as he is and her worried mouth suddenly pulls into a thin line.

“Get out,” she mutters through her teeth, a complete change in personality. Kyungsoo’s stomach drops.

“Mom,” he tries to beg, tears welling in his eyes again.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” She repeats screaming crazily at him. He can see his dad coming out from the living room and Jongin pulls at his arm to take him away. Kyungsoo lets out a sob before letting Jongin lead him back down the driveway and into his car, igniting the engine and driving out of the neighborhood. Kyungsoo cries until Jongin pulls into an empty parking lot and unbuckles himself and reaches over to hold Kyungsoo. It was only supposed to happen in movies and to bad kids, teenagers getting kicked out of their house. Kyungsoo didn’t think it would ever happen to him but his mom had looked at him the same way she did when she kicked Seungsoo out, like he had killed her every hope and dream.

Kyungsoo sobs into Jongin’s shoulder, choking on his own tears and breath. This can’t be good for strawberry lime sprout at all, all this crying but Kyungsoo just can’t stop. Jongin doesn’t say anything, just rubbing his back and wiping his tears as they come down. When Kyungsoo finally calms enough where his sobs come out in hiccups, Jongin drives them back to his apartment and holds Kyungsoo’s hand the entire ride up the elevator. He runs a warm shower for Kyungsoo and gives him clean clothes to change into. Jongin’s shirt is big on Kyungsoo and he forgoes the shorts. They settle into bed together again and Jongin just holds him and Kyungsoo tries to forget about how messed up his life has become.

He wakes up feeling thirsty, probably dehydrated from all his crying and he slides out of Jongin’s arms and steadies himself on his feet. The sun is just rising, the morning light falling through the cracks of Jongin’s blinds and highlighting his face softly. Kyungsoo can see where the dragon wraps around his arm, strong and bold.

He shuffles out of the room to get his glass of water. To his surprise there’s a woman sitting at the kitchen counter with a cup of tea. She turns around when she hears his footsteps and she has Jongin’s eyes. This must be his mom.

“Did I wake you, sweetheart?” She asks him, looking worried. He shakes his head quickly.

“Water,” he answers simply, looking down at his bare toes.

“I’ll get you a glass,” she tells him, getting up. Kyungsoo feels frozen, unable to move his feet, but somehow he makes his way to the counter and sits on an empty stool.

“How are you feeling, sweetheart?” She asks, handing him the cup. “Did you get some sleep?” He nods, sipping lightly from the cup. She must know about strawberry lime sprout.

“I heard from Taemin’s mom,” she explains, sensing his curiosity. “She told me that Jongin got someone pregnant and then I saw you two when I got home and I just assumed that it was you.”

He nods to confirm her assumption. He’s the one Jongin knocked up.

“You’re probably terrified,” she tells him, but reaches out to grab his hand, squeezing it lightly. “I’m not saying that what you guys did was right but it wasn’t wrong either. I’ll be here for you two. You aren’t alone in this. I just wanted to let you know that.”

“Thank you,” he whispers gratefully. He doesn’t know what they would have done if Jongin’s mom kicked them out too. Maybe Jongdae’s brother would have offered them a room for a bit.

“I’m gonna go sleep for a bit now. Let me or Jongin know if you need anything else,” she smiles warmly at him, rubbing his hand before disappearing into another room. Kyungsoo sits there and sips at his water slowly before rinsing the cup out and drying it on the rack. He finds a spot back in Jongin’s arms and lets himself fall back asleep.

 

When he wakes up again, the blinds are opened and the winter sun is beaming across his skin. He groans and buries his head into Jongin’s armpit to shield himself.

“Get up, sleepy,” he can hear Jongin grinning at him. “You need to eat. My mom cooked for us before she left.”

At the mention of food, Kyungsoo does lift his head and he’s greeted with Jongin’s adorable bed head and sleepy eyes.

“Your hair is a mess,” Kyungsoo tells him, reaching up to play with the flyaway strands. Jongin frowns but let’s Kyungsoo run his fingers through them.

“What time is it even?” Kyungsoo asks with a yawn.

“Almost eleven,” Jongin answers.

“Eleven?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widen. “What about school?”

“I asked my mom to call us both in,” Jongin says. “I didn’t really want to go back yet and I figured you didn’t either.” Kyungsoo nods. If he had the choice, he would never go back to that place.

“Now let’s eat,” Jongin sits up, forcing Kyungsoo to sit up with him. “We can’t just sleep the day away.”

 

While Jongin’s mom makes fantastic side dishes, her cooking is pretty simple but Kyungsoo actually appreciates the _kimchi jjigae_ with chunky slices of tofu soaked into the broth. It fills him up well and he loves finishing it up with a small bowl of rice. Jongin wipes his mouth for him and he blushes, feeling his entire body heat up. Yes, they’ve had sex once but everything else is completely new to them and now that Kyungsoo is more awake, he can’t believe how easily their hands and bodies had fallen into each other over the past day.

“Where is your mom?” Kyungsoo asks when they’re sitting on the couch again, the low hum of some _makjang_ drama playing on the TV.

“She took another shift today at the hospital,” Jongin answers. “She’s a nurse so her schedule is always kind of messed up. I think she’ll be home for the next two days though.”

“Oh cool,” Kyungsoo comments. It explained a lot why Jongin was left alone. “And your dad?”

“I don’t have one,” Jongin answers simply. Kyungsoo feels bad for asking now. “Well, of course I have a “dad”,” he puts his fingers in quotation marks, “but he was never around. I never met him.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo frowns, leaning his head on Jongin’s shoulder.

“Don’t be,” Jongin tells him. “My mom actually, she got pregnant during her senior year of high school too,” Jongin reveals. Kyungsoo tilts his head up to look at him, interest piqued.

“He was her boyfriend but he didn’t want me,” Jongin continues, “so he left and he never looked back. My mom wanted me though, even when everyone else said that I was a mistake. She was class valedictorian. I was supposed to ruin her life.”

“Oh, Jongin,” Kyungsoo sighs sadly.

“And it wasn’t easy for us,” Jongin recalls. “We struggled a lot sometimes. I would eat ramen for days when I was a kid. She had to bring me to her classes and I would cry and she would get kicked out. I colored on her homework and she missed my bus to kindergarten more than once. But at the end of the day, we had each other and we loved each other. She worked so hard to graduate and now she has a job that she loves and we live in a nice place and have enough money for food and other things. It was hard, but we made it.”

“She sounds amazing,” Kyungsoo tells him.

“She is,” Jongin nods, a small smile on his face. “She’s my hero.”

“Is that why you said you would take care of strawberry lime sprout?” Kyungsoo asks him.

“Strawberry lime sprout?” Jongin wrinkles his eyebrows, amused.

“That’s what I call the baby,” Kyungsoo tells him. “That’s how big she is right now.”

“We’ll have to talk more about her later, but yeah that’s why I said I would raise the baby if you didn’t want to,” Jongin continues, “I knew I could do it and that my mom would help me. It would’ve been hard but we would’ve been happy.”

“She’s going to be happy,” Kyungsoo looks down at his belly and determines it right there and then. If he’s going to have this baby, then he’s going to make sure strawberry lime sprout is the happiest being alive.

 

Kyungsoo isn’t expecting all the attention and talk to have died down yet when they return to school the next day but it’s a little better because Jongin is holding his hand and Jongin is known as the intimidating senior who dozes off in class and has a tattoo and is involved in illegal gang activity. People are not so discreetly staring at his belly but he’s not even showing yet so there’s nothing to point at. Kyungsoo does his best to ignore it all. These people don’t matter anymore, only strawberry lime sprout does.

Jongin drops him off at his locker, a small squeeze to his hand and a promise to see each other later during passing time. He’s pulling out the binder to his first class when he hears the shuffling of feet from behind him and he turns around to see Jongdae and Baekhyun, approaching carefully. Kyungsoo folds in on himself a little, terrified of the possible encounter. Are they here to revoke their best friend cards? To call him a slut and take back all the pencils he’s borrowed since the second grade?

“Hey, Soo,” Jongdae says nervously, eyes quickly flickering to his belly and then back up.

“Hi,” Kyungsoo squeaks out.

“You dumb bitch,” Baekhyun drops his binder and folder and wails, throwing his arms around Kyungsoo and squeezing him tight. “Why didn’t you tell us about it? I would have fought all those fuckers who were making up those weird stories.” Kyungsoo hugs Baekhyun back and actually laughs, his eyes getting watery.

“I swear,” Baekhyun cries into his shoulder. “Whoever is going to fuck with you is fucking with me and they don’t want to fuck with me because I’m not afraid to be a crazy person. I’ll mess them up and they know it! My dad is a lawyer! I’m not afraid of anything!”

“It’s okay, Baek,” Kyungsoo sniffles and laughs at the same time.

“Are you okay?” Baekhyun pulls back and looks at him up and down. “I don’t have to kill anyone?”

“I’m good,” Kyungsoo nods. He could be better but for his current circumstances, he thinks he’s okay. Baekhyun squeezes him again and steps to the side so Jongdae is in view. Kyungsoo bites his lip because he has no idea what Jongdae is going to say or do.

“Do you hate me?” Jongdae asks, a pout on his lips. Kyungsoo shakes his head. He could never ever hate Jongdae. “Good,” Jongdae almost cries, taking his turn to hug Kyungsoo tightly. “I’m so sorry for saying those things to you. It was so dumb of me. I felt so bad, Soo.”

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo rubs his back. “You didn’t know.”

“But I still made you feel bad,” Jongdae whines guiltily. “You didn’t even tell _me_ , so you were probably already feeling crap.”

“I was afraid,” Kyungsoo says, still is afraid but he knows he’s not alone anymore. The warning bells rings and all three of them groan, quickly agreeing to talk more during lunch. Kyungsoo walks to class with a small hop to his step. He’s not alone.

 

“So you lose your virginity to mega hottie Jongin and then get pregnant?” Baekhyun whisper gasps as Kyungsoo tells them the shortened version of what happened.

“Something like that,” Kyungsoo blushes.

“Bitch, someone make Chanyeol my next project partner so I can get it on with him,” Baekhyun says, eyeing the tall robotics club leader fidgeting with a remote controller a few tables away. “We’ll use a condom though. Don’t want a bun in the oven just quite yet, no offense to you two though,” he pats Kyungsoo’s belly lightly.

“None taken,” Kyungsoo nods.

“So are you and Jongin, like dating now?” Jongdae asks. Jongdae has never been the biggest fan of “bad boy” Jongin. It must be a lot for him to take in.

Kyungsoo has to pause and think about it. He and Jongin haven’t really discussed what they were yet.

They had never really dated. They were just project partners. Kyungsoo went over to his place to work on the assignment and he has to admit that he was intimidated at first. He had heard stories about Kim Jongin, the boy with the tattoos and charming grin that got him out of any trouble. He was afraid that Jongin would be rude and lazy and make him do all the work. He couldn’t have been any more wrong. Jongin had been a welcoming host and offered him snacks and drinks after school and a sweater when his got drenched in the rain. Jongin did his share of the work and even more, sending Kyungsoo journal links for his portion of the project. Jongin who was known for his sharp eyes and stoic face had the softest smile and the most addicting laugh when he watched baby animal videos and cooed over them. What had started with binging baby animal videos turned into movie marathons and pizza boxes and Chinese take out after they finished their homework for the day. They would lay out on Jongin’s balcony and Jongin would tell him about the clouds or the stars and he told Kyungsoo about all the Greek gods and goddess and their myths. Jongin, who everyone thought was lazy and a potential high school dropout was smart and philosophical and just so well spoken. Kyungsoo could listen to Jongin drone on and on about something as boring as growing grass but he would enjoy every single second of it.

It wasn’t until Jongin started reciting love poems from memory that Kyungsoo had realized he had developed a tiny crush. He liked the way Jongin’s voice sounded, deep and velvety and just low enough so the two of them could hear each other, a secret conversation to the rest of the universe. He liked how handsome Jongin looked waking up after his fifteen-minute power nap and whining for just another five minutes, his lips pulled into an adorable pout that could rival any puppy’s or toddler’s. But most of all, he liked how Jongin always looked at him like he had his full attention, and no one would ever be able to take it away. He was used to being outshined in student council, everyone’s ambitious personalities clashing and trying to speak at once. Jongdae and Baekhyun were also more extroverted and stole the scene whenever they went anywhere together with their loud laughter and bright smiles. Kyungsoo didn’t mind hiding in the background but sometimes it would have felt nice if someone asked him what his opinion was or if someone just looked at him and wondered what he was thinking about and actually cared. Jongin did that. Jongin listened to him and responded to him and reacted to him and maybe Kyungsoo had been falling in love.

They had been celebrating the completion of their project with ice cream. Caramel waffle chip, straight out of the container. Kyungsoo had been complaining about the ugly T-shirt student council had decided on for the next pep rally and Jongin was listening intently, humming at the right moments and pitching in while Kyungsoo recalled the drama over the shirts.

“And fucking Jeonghan wants highlighter yellow of all colors,” Kyungsoo said, “all because he doesn’t have a shirt that color yet. And then-,” he was interrupted as Jongin used his own spoon to shove a tiny scoop of ice cream into Kyungsoo’s mouth. Kyungsoo let it slide into his mouth and then chewed it carefully.

“What was that for?” He asked, a small grin on his face.

“You just haven’t eaten in a while,” Jongin smiled at him. “Didn’t want to feel like a fatass all by myself.” Kyungsoo laughed at that and peeked into the tub. It had been brand new when they started and now they could see the bottom of it.

“Oh, fuck,” Jongin said, uncrossing his legs and getting up. “We have whipped cream in the fridge. We could have had whipped cream this entire time.” He got up and set the tub on the counter and Kyungsoo followed as Jongin dug around in the fridge.

“Ah ha!” He triumphed as he successfully dug out the thin bottle. He popped open the red cap and squeezed the cream directly into his mouth, closing his lips over the white puff and smiling.

“You are such a child,” Kyungsoo had laughed at him. He hadn’t eaten whipped cream straight from the bottle since he was ten.

“You want some?” Jongin swallowed and shook the bottle at him. Kyungsoo grabbed it and shook it some more before tilting his head back and squeezing the contents into his mouth. The cold sweetness hit his tongue and he couldn’t help but let out a little moan as he tilted his head back forward and swallowed it down. He could feel some of the cream ooze from the corner of his lips and he laughed. Then he looked up and saw Jongin, staring at him with such an intensity that Kyungsoo thought he might burn.

“Is something wrong?” He had asked, setting the bottle down.

“You have a little something,” Jongin answered, stepping closer to him and gesturing at the corner of his mouth.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo said, moving his hand to wipe it away.

“Don’t,” Jongin said suddenly, making him pause. Jongin was close to him now, so close that they were sharing the same breath and their heartbeats were in sync.

“I’ll do it,” Jongin had whispered low and sultry before he tilted Kyungsoo’s chin up and pressed their lips together softly.

Kyungsoo’s first kiss was so gentle, just their mouths meeting for the first time, the most innocent of hellos. His second kiss was absolutely filthy and sensual, Jongin parting his lips with his and licking the remnants of whipped cream from the inside of Kyungsoo’s mouth. His second kiss tasted sinfully sweet, a mixture of the leftover cream and Jongin’s gorgeous mouth. He was high off of sugar, dopamine, and oxytocin and he never wanted to let go of this feeling.

Jongin kissed him so deeply that Kyungsoo felt his toes curl and his knees go weak and he couldn’t help but lick back into Jongin’s mouth and draw a hearty groan from the taller boy who grabbed him by the waist and picked him up so he was sitting on the counter, knocking over the tub of ice cream and whipped cream in the process. Kyungsoo’s legs wrapped around Jongin’s strong body and his arms curled around his neck and Jongin just kissed and kissed him, their mouths never separating and their bodies just pressing closer and closer to each other. Kyungsoo could barely breathe but all he felt was Jongin. All he wanted was Jongin.

“More?” Jongin had asked, when they finally separated, panting so hard and fighting to stay close to each other.

“Yes please,” Kyungsoo answered in a heartbeat, already chasing Jongin’s mouth again.

“Are you sure?” Jongin asked, indulging him with a tiny peck.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” Kyungsoo breathed out before pulling Jongin in for another deep kiss. Jongin lifted him off the counter, making sure Kyungsoo’s legs were secure around his waist and carried him to his room, kicking his door shut with one leg. And when Kyungsoo shed his school uniform in front of Jongin, laying bare and vulnerable for the boy he thought he might be in love with, he shed the last bits of his innocence too. Then he woke up a few hours later and he ran.

 

“We aren’t dating,” Kyungsoo answers Jongdae’s question.

“But you like him,” Baekhyun points out. “You wouldn’t have slept with him if you didn’t like him. You’re a romantic like that.”

Kyungsoo nods, too embarrassed to verbally admit that he has a crush.

“Does he really have tattoos?” Jongdae asks.

Kyungsoo nods again.

“But what about the mafia?” Baekhyun asks this time. Kyungsoo scoffs at that.

“Baekhyun, that’s ridiculous,” Kyungsoo says.

“Aww, so my godbaby won’t inherit some type of underground crime throne?” Baekhyun whines.

“ _Your_ godbaby?” Jongdae looks appalled. “That’s _my_ godbaby.”

“I called dibs first!” Baekhyun pounds his fist on the table.

“I was his best friend first!” Jongdae argues back.

“Kyungsoo!” They both call for him and turn to look at him.

“Maybe I’ll let Jongin choose,” Kyungsoo just smiles.

“Do you need a ride home later?” Jongdae asks him. Kyungsoo hasn’t thought about home all day but it suddenly sends a sadness through his body.

“I...um…my mom actually kicked me out,” he tells them. Jongdae’s mouth settles into a hard, angry line.

“You’re not like Seungsoo,” he defends. “So what? You got pregnant. Yeah, it’s bad but it’s not the end of the world. Your parents are well off! They can definitely support you and the baby. It’s understandable if they were upset and disappointed but to kick you out?”

“I can’t even see your dad doing that,” Baekhyun shakes his head. “He loves you so much.”

“I didn’t get to really talk to him,” Kyungsoo frowns. “My mom just wanted me out of her sight.”

“You would think after pushing away one kid, she would try to keep the good one,” Jongdae scoffs.

“It’s okay, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun pats his back. “You’ve got us. We’ll do anything we can to help you and Jongin.”

“Thanks guys”, Kyungsoo can’t help but sniffle again. He has the best friends.

 

People start paying less attention to Kyungsoo and strawberry lime sprout when Hyunjoo gets busted by the drug dogs for dealing weed out of his locker. They still stare at him and whispers still get passed around but for the most part Kyungsoo just slips back into the background, minding his own business and catching up with his school work. It probably helps that he isn’t really showing yet. There are a few incidents where girls cough _slut_ at him in the hallway or guys will check him out as he walks by, wondering how good of a lay he is. Kyungsoo ignores them. Just a few more months and he’s out of here.

There is that one situation in student council though. During their weekly meeting, they’re reading suggestions from their anonymous ask box, created to improve how their meetings run and just facilitate discussion about the school in general. It’s Joy’s turn to read one and she rummages the bottom of the box for one before she pulls out a typed sheet of paper. As she begins to read out loud, she immediately stops after a few lines, her eyes going wide as she realizes what the letter is about. It’s a request for Kyungsoo to resign from his treasurer position because he does not uphold the good values that a student council member must practice as a representative of the school. The whole room is shocked into silence. Junmyeon stands up from his seat and stalks towards Joy, ripping the letter out of her hands and tearing it in half.

“Who wrote it?” He demands to know. Nobody takes ownership for it. Kyungsoo looks down, fidgeting with his fingers.

“Kyungsoo isn’t going anywhere,” Junmyeon states with authority. “He is the best treasurer this goddamn place has had in years and we are not losing him because someone can’t handle that he’s behaving like a responsible adult.” The room nods and Kyungsoo can feel his cheeks burn from the attention.

“Meeting is over early,” Junmyeon huffs, annoyed. “If we ever get a letter like this again, I will personally investigate the case and find out who the writer is myself. We’re supposed to be embracing the school community here, not tearing it apart.”

“Yes, Junmyeon,” they all chorus before gathering their things. Kyungsoo is about to text Jongin to swing back to school and pick him up when Junmyeon taps on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” the president frowns, still upset.

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo says. “Thank you for standing up for me though.”

“You’re my friend, Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon tells him. “Of course I would stick up for you.”  

“Are you still down to go over the final Winter Formal details over fries this weekend?” Kyungsoo asks him. They had already planned this meeting weeks ago.

“I’ll see you at the Potato Corner,” Junmyeon smiles at him.

“Can Jongin come?” Kyungsoo finds himself asking. Junmyeon just chuckles again.

“Of course he can,” Junmyeon tells him. “You two are cute together. He’s always glaring at people in the hallway that have the nerve to talk about you.”

“He glares at people?” Kyungsoo asks, shocked.

“You guys are going to be okay,” Junmyeon rubs the side of his shoulder lightly. “I would be worried if it were any other couple in our class that got knocked up, but I think you and Jongin are going to do just fine.”

 


	4. part four

 

Kyungsoo has been sleeping at Jongin’s place for a little over a week now, no word from his parents, not even with his birthday approaching. He wonders if Seungsoo has heard about the pregnancy and how his older brother feels about it. He wonders if Seungsoo thinks that he’s the bigger fuck up now.

Jongin is just as attentive and caring as he’s always been around Kyungsoo. They sleep on the same bed, wrapped up in each other’s arms because it’s warmer that way. Baekhyun and Jongdae each donated a school uniform to him too for the time being so that he can have three pairs to switch between. He knows he’ll have to get fitted for bigger pants in a short while though. When he’s not at school, he’s lounging in Jongin’s clothes but he doesn’t mind. They’re loose on him, making it easy to move around and they’re soft from Jongin’s use. Every night, when Jongin thinks that Kyungsoo is sleeping, he’ll rub Kyungsoo’s belly before he falls asleep. There’s barely a swell there but Kyungsoo and Jongin can both tell that the baby is growing.

Kyungsoo talks to Jongin’s mom a lot when they’re home at the same time. Jongin was right that her schedule is rough and she looks tired whenever she gets home but she also loves her job. She talks about it with such passion and vigor even though she does feel underappreciated and overworked. She helps him find a obstetrician and schedule his first appointment to make sure that he’s healthy and that baby is really growing well. Kyungsoo asks if she wants to come with him and Jongin and she says that she would be honored to.

Kyungsoo’s birthday this year falls on a Saturday and on Friday night, he and Jongin are snuggled in bed watching an anime together. Kyungsoo actually feels really tired and he keeps on dozing off but Jongin shakes him awake, feeds him more drizzlecorn and red grapes.

“Let me sleep,” Kyungsoo whines, pulling the blankets over his head.

“No,” Jongin laughs, tugging them off and tossing them at the foot of the bed so Kyungsoo will actually have to put in effort to get them if he wants them. “You’re going to miss the good part.”

“I’ve already missed over half of this episode while my eyes were closing,” Kyungsoo grumbles but leans into Jongin again anyways. “Why do you want me to stay up with you so badly?”

“No particular reason,” Jongin sings, pushing another grape into Kyungsoo’s mouth. “Just stay up with me.”

“Fine,” Kyungsoo gives in. He’s been reading ahead on the pregnancy books that Jongin’s mom has given him to. He’ll just make Jongin massage his feet later when they’re super swollen or make Jongin drive to the Asian grocery store all the way across town to get him that melon ice bar that he likes so much.

Kyungsoo actually gets really into the next episode though and his exhaustion is forgotten in exchange for continuously stuffing popcorn into his mouth and opening his mouth for Jongin to slide the straw to their green smoothie in. When he opens his mouth the next time though, the metal straw isn’t placed against his lower lip and he frowns, tearing his eyes from the laptop screen to pout at Jongin.

“Hey, you,” Jongin smiles at him, bopping his nose with a pointer finger. “It’s midnight.”

“So?” Kyungsoo asks, not seeing what he’s getting at.

“Happy birthday, Kyungsoo,” Jongin tells him softly. “You’re an adult now.” Kyungsoo looks at the alarm clock behind Jongin and it reads 12:01 A.M. It is his birthday now.

“How did you know?” Kyungsoo asks. He hadn’t even told Jongin. He hadn’t even remembered himself.

“Jongdae told me,” Jongin says. “I wanted to do something special for you but it was too short notice.”

“Thank you, Jongin,” Kyungsoo beams at him. “Just you being here is special enough.”

“My birthday is on the 14th,” Jongin tells him. “We were born two days apart.”

“We should do something special for your birthday then,” Kyungsoo says. “What’s your favorite ice cream cake flavor?”

“Strawberry cheesecake,” Jongin answers. “Should we blow our candles together on the 13th then? Sunday night? I can ask my mom to cook. She has Sunday off.”

“I would like that,” Kyungsoo smiles. He didn’t think he was going to celebrate his birthday at all this year but Jongin was going to change that.

“We can invite Baekhyun and Jongdae,” Jongin says. “I’ll ask Sehun and Taemin if they’re free too. We can game or something too. Mario Kart? Monopoly? I have a deck of cards too if all you want to play is Go-fish.”

“Whatever you want,” Kyungsoo grins.

“I have a gift for you too,” Jongin says, his breath hitching a little nervously.

“Jongin, you told me that this was on short notice,” Kyungsoo says.

“I didn’t have to buy it,” Jongin explains.

“Now I have to go find you a gift,” Kyungsoo whines.

“You don’t,” Jongin reassures him. “Just close your eyes.”

“Why?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Just do it, silly,” Jongin lightly flicks him on the forehead.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo closes his eyes. He waits for Jongin to get off the bed and go grab whatever the gift is but he doesn’t. Instead, there’s the gentle press of lips against his and Kyungsoo startles but then Jongin’s arms wrap around him, pulling him close. They’re kissing again and Kyungsoo feels the butterflies creeping back into his belly and his toes curling. He loves kissing Jongin. He loves the way it makes him feel, like their souls are being woven together, intertwined in a tangle of love that will last forever.

He opens his eyes slowly when Jongin finally pulls away and he can already feel the pink decorating his neck and cheeks. Jongin is smiling hard and he rubs the tips of their noses together gently.

“Are you...my boyfriend?” Kyungsoo asks softly, curiously.

“I can be whatever you want me to be,” Jongin nods, moving in to kiss him again.

 

They spend Kyungsoo’s birthday laying in bed and just kissing and giggling and talking about their little strawberry lime sprout. Jongin has liked Kyungsoo for just as long as Kyungsoo has liked him and it makes him giddy, knowing that his feelings are returned. Their baby is going to be raised in a loving home, Kyungsoo is going to make sure of it. He hopes that he and Jongin last through whatever life throws at them. He wants Jongin to be _it_ for him.

They’re just about to start on a salad for dinner, because they’ve been eating way too much junk throughout the day, when there’s a knock on the door and Jongin pauses with a small frown on his face. They weren’t expecting any guests and his mom worked until later. He leaves to open the door and when he comes back to the kitchen, Kyungsoo drops the boiled egg he was about to crack. It’s his dad standing behind Jongin.

“Happy birthday, kiddo,” his dad says, a gentle smile on his face.

They go out to a family diner at the end of Jongin’s street. Jongin and Kyungsoo are sitting on one side of the booth and his dad on the other. It’s awkward and Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to start talking to his dad. He was always a daddy’s boy until Seungsoo turned bad. Then his mom focused all her attention on him.

“Water for all of us?” His dad asks.

“Yes please,” Jongin answers. Dad had found out Jongin’s address through the school. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how legal that is but he does guess they are in special circumstances.

“How are you doing?” His dad asks softly, genuine concern in his eyes.

“I’m doing good,” Kyungsoo nods, leaving out the _I miss you_ that he desperately wants to say. Dad always bought him a fat slice of chocolate cake at wherever they ate out at for his birthday. They don’t have chocolate cake on this menu.

“Does mom know you’re here?” He asks.

“Your mom went to go visit grandma,” his dad says. “I told her maybe she needed to go clear her mind and talk to her sisters.”

“Is she still mad at me?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I don’t know, kiddo,” his dad sighs. “Seungsoo came over the day after you left. That didn’t help much.” Kyungsoo can only imagine how livid his mother was, seeing both of her disappointing sons.

“Are _you_ mad at me?” Kyungsoo dares to ask.

“Oh, Soosoo bear,” the old nickname comes out, “I was never mad at you. I was just worried. Your mom overreacted. She always does. I was going to come after you but mom needed me there.” Kyungsoo can see it, his mom collapsing in his dad’s arms.

“I thought that maybe you needed some space too, to find the words you wanted to say to me,” his dad continues. The problem is that Kyungsoo hasn’t found them yet.

“Dad,” he decides to say, “I’m pregnant.” It’s quiet for a second before all three of them burst into laughter.

“Hi, pregnant, I’m dad,” the older Doh responds and this makes Jongin laugh again. “Have you been taking good care of my son?” He asks Jongin.

“I’m doing my best, sir,” Jongin nods.

“I would interrogate you like any dad would but right now I think it’s more important to celebrate Kyungsoo’s birthday,” he says. “I look forward to getting to know you better though, Jongin.”

“Me too,” Jongin nods, their hands meeting for a firm handshake in the middle of the table.

So they talk casually while they wait for their food and then while they eat. Kyungsoo actually learns a lot about Jongin at the same time his dad does. He tutors at the library after school on some days, helping dyslexic kids learn how to read, which is why he gets away with being tardy and skipping out on detentions. His grades are phenomenal and he’s actually in the running for being class valedictorian, something that Kyungsoo was not aware of. Although his teachers would like it if he paid attention in class instead of taking cat naps, they’re also aware of how smart he is and that he’ll pull through with whatever essay or exam or project they have coming up. Jongin also has an uncle that owns a construction company and he’ll occasionally go and help out part time when they’re short on hands. That’s where he was the weekend that Kyungsoo was supposed to get the abortion.

“Are you ready to come home?” His dad asks him as they finish up on dinner. Kyungsoo looks at Jongin. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to face his mom whenever she gets back but he knows that he doesn’t really want to leave Jongin either.

“Can Jongin live with us too?” He finds himself asking. “On the days where his mom is not home, can he stay with us?”

“You’re already pregnant, Kyungsoo,” his dad chuckles. “You guys can’t do anything worse under my roof than you’ve already done.”

“We’re supposed to spend the day with Jongin’s mom tomorrow,” Kyungsoo says, “but Monday after school, I’ll come home.”

“I’ll be waiting for you then,” his dad says, holding his hand tightly. He drives the two of them back to the apartment but before he leaves he stops Kyungsoo and gives him two boxes.

“Happy birthday, Kyungsoo,” he gives him a hug and kisses his forehead. “I love you, kid.”

“I love you too, dad,” Kyungsoo smiles.

When they get back upstairs, Kyungsoo sits at the dining room table to open up the gifts that his dad wrapped in their Christmas wrapping paper. The first one is a small takeout container and inside is a huge slice of chocolate cake from his favorite cafe downtown. He nearly cries as he smells it and Jongin goes and grabs two forks for them. His dad didn’t forget about their chocolate cake tradition.

The next gift really makes him cry though, after he undoes the ribbon and the box falls apart. It’s a brand new pair of lavender mittens and booties for the baby. Kyungsoo holds them up and he cries as Jongin holds him close. They’re really going to have a baby.

 

“Did you have fun today?” Jongin asks when they’re cuddled in bed after their joint birthday party. Kyungsoo was all smiles that day, watching as his friends kicked Jongin’s friend’s asses in Monopoly and how crazy they all went during their Just Dance session. It was really fun, probably his favorite birthday ever.

“Yes,” he hums, kissing Jongin’s cheek. “It was the best.”

“That makes me happy,” Jongin smiles back at him. They’re all packed too, for the few days that they’ll stay at Kyungsoo’s place before they come back here for the weekend. Jongin thinks that it’s an okay idea, for them to stay at Kyungsoo’s house during weekdays and then at his place during weekends. It gives his mom some personal time when she gets days off but they also get to see her when she gets weekends free.

“Any house rules I should be aware of?” Jongin wiggles his eyebrows. “I’ve been an apartment kid all my life.”

“Nothing insane,” Kyungsoo laughs, cupping Jongin’s cheeks in his hands. “Just be on your best behavior. Oh and my mom doesn’t like it when we leave our shoes all over the place so just set them nicely side by side when you take them off.”

“I feel like she’s going to hate me no matter how nice I am,” Jongin frowns. Kyungsoo can’t reassure him that isn’t the truth. He knows how his mom can get. Instead, he kisses Jongin lightly.

“But my dad likes you,” he tells Jongin, “and _I_ like you.”

“I like you too,” Jongin says, kissing the space above Kyungsoo's mouth.

“So who’s Seungsoo?” Jongin asks a little while later while he plays with Kyungsoo’s fingers.

“My brother,” Kyungsoo answers, knowing where the conversation is headed.

“You have a brother?” Jongin is surprised. “I thought you were an only child.”

“My family doesn’t talk about him much,” Kyungsoo shrugs his shoulders. “We don’t really talk to him anymore either.”

“Did something happen?” Jongin asks, the curiosity peeking through his voice.

“Seungsoo isn’t exactly a good person,” Kyungsoo sighs. “He was okay until he started high school but yeah, he got mixed up with the wrong crowd and his priorities started shifting. He was a drinker and a partier and he went from straight A honors student to failing every single class and never turning in an assignment. My parents fought with him a lot, trying to get his life turned around before it was too late. I think Seungsoo knew that he messed up and that he needed to change but everyone was always yelling at him and pressuring him and he just got really angry at the world. He had a really short temper and he’d throw things around when he and my mom fought. He gave my dad a black eye once too, when my dad tried to take away his car keys and ground him.”

“He doesn’t sound pleasant to be around,” Jongin grimaces.

“He wasn’t,” Kyungsoo shakes his head. “I was actually really scared of him. He used to drive me to middle school and I was always so afraid of talking to him, of saying something wrong and having him yell at me or hit me.”

“Did he hit you?” Jongin asks, an edge to his voice.

“Never,” Kyungsoo shakes his head again. “Sometimes he forgot to pick me up at school so I would sit on the curb and wait until my dad realized I wasn’t home yet but he never did anything bad to me besides calling me a dumbass.”

“Where is he now?” Jongin asks.

“My mom kicked him out when he was eighteen,” Kyungsoo tells him. “The last straw was her finding weed in his bag when she was trying to clean his room. She threw all his things out the window, kinda like a psycho ex girlfriend, and told him that she didn’t want to see him breathe near her until he got his life together. He told her to fuck off and then he kinda just walked out of the neighborhood. I was worried about him but my mom and dad just couldn’t handle him anymore.”

“And you haven’t seen him since?” Jongin asks.

“He’s come back a few times,” Kyungsoo says. “My dad got worried after about a week, helped him get a job at a factory and checked up on him. I think the space helped a lot. He comes back and visits when he’s doing good but somehow, he always manages to fuck up again or do something just awful and the whole cycle starts over. He got a DUI the day before thanksgiving two years ago. That ruined the mood during dinner, especially because we were hosting extended family and everyone knew about it. Then during Father’s Day, Seungsoo had a beer with my uncles and my mom freaked and they fought in front of everyone again. It just always turns out bad when Seungsoo comes around so he doesn’t anymore.”

“Is that why she’s so protective over you?” Jongin realizes.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo hums. “She’s all about image and we were the perfect little suburban family until Seungsoo went wild. So she made sure that I was her perfect little choirboy. I didn’t mind, really. I didn’t want to turn out anything like Seungsoo but it was always stressful, thinking about being perfect all the time. I couldn’t drink, my curfew was 10:30 on weekends and I couldn’t even sleep over at Jongdae or Baekhyun’s house. She had it all planned out that I was going to marry a successful doctor and stay a virgin until my wedding night and then have two perfect angel children to complete my perfect family.”

“But I don’t want to be a doctor,” Jongin grins, “and you aren’t a virgin anymore. I also want lots of kids! I was an only child and I don’t blame my mom for not having more but I don’t want my kids to be lonely.”

“We aren’t talking about more kids until we’re both done with college,” Kyungsoo shushes him.

“You’re right,” Jongin smiles and pulls him closer. “Let’s just focus on this little one,” he rubs Kyungsoo’s belly. “And on us. Everything else can wait for later.”

 

Kyungsoo’s mom still isn’t talking to him and it’s been two weeks since he and Jongin have started their dual living situation. Kyungsoo actually really likes going back and forth between both homes, especially because Jongin is always with him. Every night when he falls asleep, Jongin is holding him and when he wakes up in the morning, Jongin is still there.

His dad and Jongin get along great too, watching basketball together on weeknights and just talking about everything and anything. Sometimes Kyungsoo gets annoyed because they leave him out of the conversation but he’s still happy to see them getting along. Of course, his mom despises Jongin, the no good boy who ruined her precious son. She had reeled when she came back from grandma’s and saw Jongin eating cereal with Kyungsoo before school started. They could hear her arguing with dad about it in the laundry room. _How dare he let a hooligan live under their house and sleep in their son’s bed? They should be keeping Kyungsoo away from him not enabling and rewarding their bad behavior._

Dinner has split into two parts now. His parents eat in the dining room as usual but Kyungsoo and Jongin sit at the kitchen counter and eat so it’s not awkward. They don’t mind though if it means not making his mom uncomfortable.

Sometimes they’ll “forget” what Jongin’s mom schedule is and spend the weekend at Jongin’s place even if his mom isn’t home. It’s convenient really that they’re all alone and no one can come barging in and interrupt them, especially when Kyungsoo’s hormones begin to change and he just gets sexual urges out of nowhere. Jongin quite enjoys it though, rocking into Kyungsoo on his bed or laying him on top of their forgotten homework in the kitchen. The best part is that Kyungsoo doesn’t run away when they wake up, blissed out and tangled together. Kyungsoo just feathers kisses over Jongin’s smooth skin to wake him up and if they’re in the mood they go for another round. Maybe Kyungsoo should be ashamed by the amount of sex they have these days but he can’t be bothered by it. They’re already expecting a baby so nothing worse can really happen.

It’s after a rather intense, passionate round of love that Kyungsoo is running his fingers over Jongin’s arm. The taller boy has his eyes closed and is catching his breath. Kyungsoo had been nearly insatiable and Jongin was a champ for keeping up. They’re lying on their sides and facing each other, naked and sweaty and just glowing. Kyungsoo is 17 weeks now and his bump is noticeable, swelling above his waistline and rounding out cutely. Strawberry lime sprout is now the size of a pear, or an onion, or a turnip, and some websites say a pomegranate. Kyungsoo and Jongin have decided to call her Bubu for now. They’re having a little girl. It was confirmed last week during his mid pregnancy checkup.

Jongin’s hand comes to curl around Kyungsoo’s waist, rubbing where the technician said Bubu’s feet were last placed.

“Why a dragon?” Kyungsoo finds himself asking, his pointer finger mapping the magnificent creature the curls around Jongin’s bicep and breathes fire near the left side of his chest. It’s mesmerizing and Kyungsoo has never asked about the back-story until now.

“It’s my mom’s zodiac animal,” Jongin answers. “I wanted to get something to honor her.”

“How were you even able to get a tattoo?” Kyungsoo asks. “Don’t you have to be 18 to get it done.”

“I got it started with her permission when I was 16,” Jongin tells him. “One of her coworkers, her husband is a tattoo artist and I wanted one just because. Mom didn’t want me going somewhere shady to get it done though so she took me to his parlor and watched me get it done. Then I finished it last summer.”

“I really like it,” Kyungsoo kisses his bicep. “Baekhyun thinks you’re a mafia leader.”

“They all think I’m a bad boy, huh?” Jongin chuckles.

“I did too,” Kyungsoo smiles nostalgically. “You’re so intimidating and too handsome for your own good.”

“Nah,” Jongin nuzzles his nose into Kyungsoo’s cheek. “I’m just a big softy who has secret library duties and likes sleep too much for my own good.”

“Do you want more tattoos?” Kyungsoo asks him.

“I have a few in mind,” Jongin nods. “Why? Do you want one?”

“Does it hurt though?” Kyungsoo asks.

“It does,” Jongin tells him. “You kinda get used to it though.”

“Maybe I’ll pass then,” Kyungsoo says. “You can get all the tattoos for us.”

“I have something to ask you,” Jongin turns serious all of a sudden, shifting so he can balance his weight on his elbow while he scoots closer to Kyungsoo. “Do you want to go the dance with me on Friday?”

 

Kyungsoo has a week to find pants that will fit him and look nice for the dance. He’s actually stressing out about it because nothing fits him right anymore. If it’s comfy at the waist, the legs are too long. If the length is perfect, the band is too tight. There’s just no winning with him and his belly and he even thinks about calling off the dance. But Jongin looked so excited about it and they already had plans to join another group.

Jongdae takes him out one day after school to one of the smaller malls in town and Kyungsoo spends hours trying on different pants and new dress shirts too. He’s not sure if he wants to hide the bump or just let it be but the bump decides itself, that it wants to be seen, no matter what cut or fit Kyungsoo tries on. He’s not completely satisfied with what he finds but the pants fit his waist and don’t completely drown his legs so he figures it’s okay. They’ll only be there for two or three hours anyways. Then he can spend the rest of the weekends lounging in one of Jongin’s shirts and a pair of sweats.

The day before the dance, Kyungsoo passes by his mom’s room on his way down the stairs and what he sees makes him do a double take. She’s shortening the legs of the new pants he bought, making them the right length for him.

“Mom?” He asks, knocking on her door. She startles at the sound of his voice. He hasn’t called for her since that day. They haven’t talked in over a month now.

“Oh,” she nods at him nervously. “I thought you were hanging out with the boys today.”

“That’s later,” he says, cautiously walking into the room. “Are you fixing my pants for tomorrow?”

“They looked a little long,” she says touching the fabric. “I didn’t want you to trip in the gym.”

Kyungsoo sits next to her and it’s tense and awkward. She’s always been hard on him, expected a lot from him, but he knows that she loves him so much. She just wants what’s best for him.

“Thank you,” he says softly. He looks at her and notices that she’s crying, tears slowly rolling down her face.

“Mom?” He asks, worriedly.

“I’m so sorry, honey,” she tells him, reaching for him for a hug. “I just didn’t know what to do or what to say.”

“It’s okay,” Kyungsoo pats her back. “I knew you were going to be upset.”

“But I shouldn’t have been upset,” she shakes her head. “I should have been there to support you. You must have been so scared and lost and all I did was make it worse.”

He can’t deny that but he knows she had to cope with it her own way too.

“Do you want to see her?” Kyungsoo asks, pulling back and wiping her tears. He gets up and grabs the sonogram he and Jongin have sitting on his bedside table.

“I’m eighteen weeks now,” he shows her the picture, “but this was when I was sixteen weeks. She’s a girl. We call her Bubu,” he beams at the black and white photo.

“Is he a nice boy?” His mom asks, referring to Jongin but she’s still looking at the sonogram.

“The nicest,” Kyungsoo smiles. Jongin is really the best.

“Would you two like to join your dad and I for dinner at the table tonight then?” She asks, looking at him with a hopeful smile.

“I would love that,” Kyungsoo smiles back at her. He lets her keep the sonogram. He and Jongin have two more copies in their room.

 

Kyungsoo would call the Winter Formal a success because only two student council members had mental breakdowns and no one tried to spike the fruit punch this time. Junmyeon’s ice sculpture held up pretty well until the lights above the dance floor began to melt it down and Krystal was surprisingly okay with the cupcakes but maybe that’s just because they found cute pink plastic forks with glitter detail to go with it and they had spare money for a vintage photobooth.

For the first time in his life, Kyungsoo isn’t sitting behind a closed door, grabbing coats from people and playing on his phone while he waits for the dance to be over. He’s swaying in Jongin’s arms and watching Baekhyun try to woo Chanyeol with a terrible robot dance. Chanyeol looks terrified but Baekhyun is determined to get a date out of the taller boy tonight. Jongdae looks suspiciously cozy next to Junmyeon, sitting at one of the tables and judging everyone that spins by.

“You are a wonderful dancer,” Jongin teasingly compliments them as they dance around the floor slowly, trying to not bump into other people.

“This is even simpler than walking,” Kyungsoo laughs.

“You know, I bet if Bubu wasn’t here and this wasn’t a school function with a crap DJ, you’d be amazing to grind against,” Jongin says lowly into his ear.

“Bubu can hear you,” Kyungsoo frowns, holding a hand against his belly. “But you probably aren’t wrong,” he smiles, wrapping his arms around Jongin’s neck.

“Whoa, we’re going to have to find out some time soon then,” Jongin laughs. “Rave at my place tomorrow night. I’ll bring the disco light.”

“You are so silly,” Kyungsoo says fondly, rubbing the back of Jongin’s ear. _I love you._

 

Kyungsoo really says those three words during spring break. He’s 26 weeks along now, very obviously pregnant with his bump sticking out. Even Jongin’s big shirts don’t cover it anymore but they’re still loose and comfy. Bubu is the size of a grapefruit now.

Jongin is out in the yard, helping Kyungsoo’s dad rake away some of the yucky stuff that the melted snow has left behind. Jongin has never owned a yard, never done any yard work but the sight of him in old jeans and a paint stained t-shirt topped off with a baseball cap and worker’s gloves is doing things to Kyungsoo’s heart. He’s helping Kyungsoo’s dad move some of their summer tools from the shed back into the garage. Kyungsoo hears Jongin asks his dad if he can teach him how to use the lawn mower this summer.

Being this far along in his pregnancy, Kyungsoo has started to have swollen ankles and back aches and he has to sit down a lot, even when his butt hurts from sitting down so much. Jongin is the absolute best though, always massaging him when he doesn’t even ask for it and bringing him bottles of water and hot pads. Kyungsoo has a hard time falling asleep too, not able to find a comfortable position with the bump getting in the way but Bubu has recently just started kicking and she keeps him company in the middle of the night when Jongin is sleeping away, tired out by school and volunteering. Jongin loves feeling for Bubu’s kicks. He would be so jealous if he knew that Kyungsoo and Bubu had a special time together late at night without him.

“Is my Bubu hurting you?” Jongin asks when he comes in from outside. Kyungsoo is sitting on the couch with his feet propped up, a glass of sweet iced tea on the side. Jongin drinks it and then flops down next to him, pressing his ear gently against Kyungsoo’s belly.

“Bubu is sleeping,” Kyungsoo answers, patting his bump affectionately. There hasn’t been any movement from her for a while now.

“Sleeps during the day, kicks during the night,” Jongin laughs, “she’s going to have our schedules so messed up when she finally comes out.”

“How was yard work?” Kyungsoo asks, running his hands through Jongin’s slightly sweaty hair.

“Exhausting,” Jongin sighs, “but it must be done.”

“Why’d you ask my dad to teach you how to mow the lawn?” Kyungsoo asks him.

“Well someone has to do it,” Jongin looks up at him.

“Yeah, my dad can do it,” Kyungsoo tells him.

“No,” Jongin shakes his own head, “when we get our own house and have our own yard for the kids to run around in, someone has to mow the lawn.”

Kyungsoo pauses for a moment. He and Jongin talked about Bubu’s future all the time but they haven’t really, seriously talked about _their_ future together.

“ _Our_ house?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Yeah, _our_ house,” Jongin says. “Why would I be mowing Sehun’s lawn unless he had a broken leg or something.”

Kyungsoo sits up, lighting shifting Jongin off his lap and the taller boy looks confused until Kyungsoo launches himself at him, wrapping his arms around Jongin’s neck to pull him in for a kiss as best as he can with Bubu in the way. Jongin is a little shocked but he isn’t complaining as Kyungsoo’s tongue slips into his mouth and presses against him.

“What was that for?” Jongin asks when they finally pull apart, mouths slick and pinkened.

“I love you,” Kyungsoo gushes feeling shy all of a sudden. He loves Jongin. He wants a house with Jongin and a tidy yard and their kids running around and playing. He wants to build a life with Jongin. Even if they don’t get their house and their yard, he wants whatever they get, as long as it’s with Jongin.

“Oh thank god you do,” Jongin let’s out a relieved sigh. “Otherwise that house talk might have been a little overbearing.”

“I love you,” Kyungsoo repeats, kissing Jongin’s mouth again.

“I love you too,” Jongin says back, smiling against Kyungsoo’s lips. There’s a sudden kick against Kyungsoo’s stomach and Jongin feels it too.

“Looks like Bubu loves us too,” he grins before leaning in for another kiss.

 

They graduate in the middle of May along with the rest of their class, all decked out in black robes and the classic cap. Kyungsoo is ranked twelfth in his class. Jongin is tied for valedictorian with Harvard bound, Kim Yuna. He settles for being Salutatorian though, too many tardies and missed days of school to compare to Yuna. He also wasn’t one to give a speech in front of the entire class and all their families and friends.

Junmyeon’s speech as student council President is actually pretty moving and touching. A lot of people cry and and there’s laughter as Junmyeon recalls special memories that only their class can relate to. They walk on stage and grab their empty diploma cases and then the caps are thrown in the air and they’re out of here. High school is over.

Kyungsoo and Jongin look through the crowded quad to find their parents and their friends so they can take pictures together. Bubu is quiet and Kyungsoo’s back aches from sitting up straight for two hours but he’s happy. Jongdae and Baekhyun are waiting for them by the crooked tree next to the parking lot and soon Sehun and Taemin join them. They pose for pictures, all smiles and big grins. Junmyeon wants a student council picture and Joy cries because she’s going to miss them next year and she doesn’t know if she can handle being the new president. Kyungsoo gives her a nice hug and lets her touch Bubu, the size of a coconut. He thinks she’s going to do just fine.

 

Jongin and Kyungsoo spend the beginning of their summer getting ready for Bubu to come home. They have about two months left before she’ll be here and there’s still so much to do. They set up her crib in the corner of Kyungsoo’s room and clear a space in the living room to lay down safety mats and toys that she’ll soon be able to play with. Jongin’s mom buys them a small bunny themed bouncer for Bubu to sit in and Jongdae’s brother gives them his daughter’s highchair that she’s graduated from. They get lots of clothes from relatives and that they buy themselves because little girl clothes are just too cute to resist and so cheap too. Jongin buys her blankets and stuffed animals with the money he gets from the shifts he does at construction sites. They stock up on diapers and have to research bottles and strollers and carseats before they settle on which one to buy. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming because they still are only 18, fresh out of high school but here they are preparing for another human being.

They definitely aren’t going to have the traditional college experience with keg parties and crazy spring break trips or last minute cram sessions in the library. Instead they’ll have baby birthday parties and family road trips to the water resort three hours away. Their all nighters won’t be used for studying but staying awake with Bubu when she’s sick and grumpy and just wants to constantly be held. Kyungsoo doesn’t think he’ll mind but his thoughts always drift to Jongin and wonder if Jongin will regret any of this when his friends are out bar hopping and he’s hopping over toys and juice spills. Then Jongin comes to him, a hardcover children’s book in hand and he’ll lay down on Kyungsoo’s lap and practice reading to Bubu, doing the exaggerated voices and everything. Jongin won’t mind staying in with Bubu at all. He’ll always choose her and Kyungsoo over a few overpriced drinks and a hangover.

 

Bubu comes to them on July 14th at three in the morning. They’ve been waiting for her this week, trying to determine if Kyungsoo is just experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions or if they’re the real thing. Jongin keeps a bag packed by the door for them and makes sure the car doesn’t run low on gas. Kyungsoo is ready to get rid of the bump and to hold Bubu in his arms, his not-so-little-anymore strawberry lime sprout.

Jongin wakes up to Kyungsoo shaking him, cradling his bump in his hand and wincing as a cramp rips through him. The bed is damp from where his water broke and Jongin doesn’t waste another second, helping Kyungsoo up and flipping on the light switch in the hallway. Kyungsoo’s parents have been sleeping with the door open this entire week, waiting for this moment.

“Is she coming?” His mom is awake nearly instantly and holding onto Kyungsoo’s waist to support him.

“I think it’s time,” Kyungsoo nods, his face turning so pale.

“Dad and I will help you to the car,” she says. Jongin lets him go and goes to grab the bag and a hoodie in case it gets cold. Bubu’s last sonogram is propped up on their nightstand and he grabs it and kisses it. She’s almost here with them.

 

Kim Yejin arrives in the world at 3:04 A.M and she’s 6.4 pounds and 19.2 inches long. Jongin is expecting her to come out shrieking but her cry is so soft and delicate that it makes him cry. She’s still squirming and naked as a nurse wraps her up in a clean blanket and hands her to Jongin and he kisses her head even though she’s still a little bloody. They count her fingers and her toes to make sure they’re all there and then ID her ankle and weigh her and measure her. Jongin has to let go of her so they can give her some shots and prick her heels to run some tests. But soon enough she’s back in his arms and he’s so in love that he never wants to let her go. He brings her over to Kyungsoo, who’s still a little out of it from the procedure but with the help of a nurse and Kyungsoo’s mom, Yejin meets her papa for the first time and it’s absolutely magical in Jongin’s eyes.

Kyungsoo cries as he holds her against him and he’s rubbing her cheeks softly and kissing her perfect, wrinkly forehead. The nurse suggests that maybe Kyungsoo tries to feed her and he’s a little shy but he does and she latches on perfectly and Jongin can’t even begin to explain how entranced Kyungsoo looks, making eye contact with their little Bubu, their Kim Yejin.

Jongin’s mom visits them during her break and she gets to hold Yejin and kiss her little cheeks. Yejin is dressed in the standard white onesie but her hands and feet are covered by the lavender mittens and socks her grandpa got her. Jongin’s mom doesn’t want to go back to her floor but then they page her for an emergency and she begrudgingly has to leave. Jongin and Kyungsoo’s friends visit in the afternoon and they have balloons and gift bags and they’re excited but also terrified because wow, there’s a baby now.

Jongin helps them take turns holding her and she’s pretty calm, just sleeping away until she’s transferred into Taemin’s arms. It only takes two minutes for her to wake up and cry, scaring all the teenagers in the room. Jongin picks her up and pats her comfortingly to calm her down.

“Oh I like her,” Baekhyun grins when she’s quiet again and sleeping in Jongin’s arms. “She knows who tried to ruin her papa’s life.” Taemin looks scandalizes but Kyungsoo just laughs.

 

Yejin comes home two days later, Kyungsoo’s dad driving them back to the suburbs. Kyungsoo is sleeping on Jongin’s shoulder, still exhausted from the whole hospital visit and Yejin is tucked safely in her carseat, sucking on a pink pacifier with a purple butterfly attached to the back and staring at the bunny mobile above her carseat. They take her inside and give her a house tour, pointing out every single room and telling her what they’re used for. They’ve decided to raise Yejin at Kyungsoo’s house since there’s more room here. it’s quieter than an apartment and safer too. It’s also closer to the university that Jongin and Kyungsoo will be attending in the fall, an easy half hour commute instead of forty-five minutes.

“And this is our room,” Jongin sings as he opens the door for Kyungsoo and Yejin. “But you already know that, Bubu.” Kyungsoo smiles at Jongin affectionately and kisses Yejin’s head. She’s starting to fall asleep again, her eyelids drooping slowly.

“Daddy and papa get the bed,” Jongin tells her, “and you get the crib over there. Please don’t make too much noise though. We both like our sleep.” Kyungsoo laughs at that and goes to set her down in the crib. She stretches a bit, in her adorable soft pink outfit, but then she relaxes and falls asleep pretty quickly. Kyungsoo watches her to make sure she’s okay and then Jongin calls his name. He’s already sitting on the bed, waiting for his boyfriend. Kyungsoo gives his baby one last look before he joins Jongin, settling into his side comfortably.

“She’s home,” Jongin smiles, his gaze on the white crib.

“She is,” Kyungsoo kisses the underside of his jaw. “I’m so happy, Jongin.”

“Me too,” Jongin says, snuggling close to Kyungsoo. They were going to be alright, the three of them. Whatever else life threw their way, they were going to figure it out.

 

**~three years later~**

Kyungsoo closes his textbook shut with a relieved sigh, sliding his notebook back into his backpack and plugging his laptop in to charge. He takes his noise cancelling headphones off his ears and he listens for a second. It’s quiet in the house...a little too quiet.

“Jongin?” He calls for his husband, sliding the chair out and getting up to go look for him. His parents are gone for the week, on a trip to Niagara Falls to celebrate their anniversary. It’s been a rough week without them, having to balance school with watching Yejin too but they’ve managed. His parents are absolute saints for taking care of her while he and Jongin are at class.

“Hello?” He calls for anyone, the sound echoing throughout the house. No one responds and Kyungsoo sighs, walking into the living room where he last saw them having a tea party. He was studying for midterms and Yejin had been distracting, wanting him to voice her fuzzy, green frog while it fought with her duckie over the last cookie. He asked Jongin to take a break from his readings that weren’t due for another week to play with her so he could finish diagramming a flowchart.

The living room is a mess, Yejin’s toys strewn all over the place and the ending credits of _The Little Mermaid_ are playing on the TV screen. Kyungsoo finds the remote in front of his feet and he picks it up to turn it off.

He finds Jongin and Yejin on the couch, sleeping with purple stained mouths. Jongin’s hand is hanging over the edge and Yejin is snoring on top of him and the two are just too cute that Kyungsoo can’t even be mad that they ate cupcakes in living room and left crumbs all over the carpet and rug. Eating in the living room is a big no no according to grandma but Kyungsoo knows that his dad lets Yejin get away with it all the time.

He holds back a laugh as he searches for his phone to snap a picture of them. Yejin is wearing her Elsa dress but her Belle tiara is falling halfway off her messy, tangled hair. Jongin’s hair would be considered short but somehow, their daughter has managed to find a way to tie portions of it up into tiny ponytails with her sparkly pink and purple hairbands and he has alphabet stickers decorating the space in between his eyebrows, creating a rather colorful unibrow. Jongin always finds a way to keep Yejin entertained, even if it means sacrificing his good looks for a few hours. Kyungsoo thinks that Jongin is the most handsome when he’s being a dad though.

He puts his phone away and bends down to pick Yejin up and take her upstairs to finish her nap. She wakes up a little but then just realizes that it’s her papa and lets her entire body flop against him. He’s lucky she’s tiny still because he has a whole staircase to carry her up. Her crib has been converted into a toddler bed and he tucks her in with her favorite blanket and takes off her tiara to smooth back her hair so it doesn’t get into her face while she sleeps. She’s a twister and a turner, always finding more than one comfy spot to sleep in.

Then Kyungsoo goes back downstairs and takes Yejin’s spot on Jongin’s chest, resting his head on the side where Jongin doesn’t have the dragon. Yejin loves Jongin’s tattoos. She tries to draw on Jongin with her markers when she thinks he isn’t looking. Jongin has gone to class with scribbles decorating his arms on more than one occasion. He’s added a few more in the past few years, a music note behind his ear for Kyungsoo and Yejin’s birthday on the inside of his forearm where she first bit him and left marks after her teeth came in. Kyungsoo’s favorite are the two tattoos inscribed on the inside of Jongin’s left wrist, where you can feel his pulse. It’s his name and Yejin’s name in _hangul_ , right where you can feel Jongin’s heartbeat. Kyungsoo thinks it’s one of the most beautiful things ever. He wants to get Jongin’s name somewhere on him too but he’s still terrified of the experience. Maybe next year, after they graduate he’ll be brave enough to finally do it.

“Where’s Bubu?” Jongin asks, waking up and pulling the hairbands from his hair and the stickers from his forehead. Then his hands automatically go to run down Kyungsoo’s back, stopping right below his waist.

“Upstairs,” Kyungsoo tells him. “She’s still sleeping.”

“Aww,” Jongin teases, “did you move her because you were jealous?”

“I moved her so she wouldn’t get a crick in her neck like last time,” Kyungsoo says, burying his head even more into Jongin, but yeah he might have wanted some alone time with his husband too.

“She’s a funny kid,” Jongin says, drumming his fingers lightly on Kyungsoo’s skin. “Do you know what she asked for today?”

“We are not buying her another surprise egg,” Kyungsoo says, lifting his head up.

“She asked for a baby sister,” Jongin smiles. “Specifically a sister. I asked her _‘what about a brother?’_ and she said _‘eew’_.”

“Are you telling me that you want another baby?” Kyungsoo asks.

“I’m telling you that our baby wants another baby,” Jongin chuckles. “But I wouldn’t mind one in, let’s say, a year and a half. We’ll be out of school by then and I’ll find a job that lets me work from home for part of the week.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo nods, agreeing easily. A year and a half sounded reasonable. They could handle it then, two kids and full time jobs. It might be even easier because Kyungsoo can come home and not have to worry about homework and exams and focus all his attention on his little loves.

“I think we should practice,” Jongin says slyly, moving his hands down further to squeeze Kyungsoo’s ass. “They say that practice makes perfect.”

“How long has Yejin been sleeping for?” Kyungsoo asks.

“She fell asleep right before Ursula turned into the giant sea witch and destroyed the ships,” Jongin answers rather specifically.

“That gives us at least half an hour before she gets up, maybe forty minutes since I put her on the bed. You think that’s long enough for your _practice_?” Kyungsoo teases him, already lifting himself up to hover over Jongin.

“Babe,” Jongin says, putting a hand loosely on the back of Kyungsoo’s neck and massaging it, “you know that I’m already perfect,” he laughs before pulling Kyungsoo down for a much anticipated kiss. Kyungsoo giggles into Jongin’s mouth before kissing him back deeply. Jongin really is just perfect for him, and Kyungsoo wouldn’t have wanted to find that out any other way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


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